Like a Lightning Storm (Part 2)

Part 2

Click here for Part 1 if you want to read it.

The meds really drain my energy.  When I first got on them, I would nap for at least 3 hours after classes, even if I had a good night’s sleep.  I have been able to adjust to them more since then, but my full energy never returned.  Another side effect.

If you have a friend going through a storm….

Please don’t act like it’s a big deal when you help a friend going through a storm-

No driving for 6 months (normal restriction after a seizure) during my student teaching.  Relying on friends during hard times is tough.  I had friends give me a ride from campus to my apartment just a couple times and act like they hung the moon for me.  Don’t get me wrong, it was helpful, but I had people I barely knew offer to do that much for me. 

Please, don’t get upset when your friend can’t be there for you during their storm-

I had several close friends try to deem what was best for me or our friendship and get upset that I couldn't be there the way they wanted me to at the time, instead of just making the time to be there and ask what my needs were.  It's not like any of us want to be in a time of extra need or vulnerability, but it usually happens to everyone at some point.  I’m really sorry that I forgot to ask how your day was, when I was struggling to stay awake while at the same time making sure I got enough sleep and didn’t drink too much caffeine, find a ride home, cope with an abusive boyfriend who eventually left me during the storm, remember to take my meds, remember what I was going to be teaching the next day, AND keep up with my friends too.  I wasn’t meaning to forget about you EVER, but at that time, I was in hell.  Where were you?

Please don’t act like doing a simple thing for a friend in a storm is a hardship for you-

I mentioned in the last post that a family member had a pretty traumatic experience too.  My sister broke her back when she got bucked off a horse at the beginning of this year.  She was bed-ridden for weeks.  The only thing she could do was watch tv or look at her phone.  When I saw how depressed she was about the injury and possibility of not riding again (plus the fact that she had crappy friends who barely visited her), I set up a surprise event online, asking friends to mail her some snail mail to give her something else to do. Two weeks later, my sister had received ONE thing in the mail! It was sent by MY sweet brother-in-law and sister-in-law. My brother-in-law has spent maybe a few hours with my little sister, and my sister-in-law has never even met her....and some of those invited to send encouragement have known her for YEARS! How discouraging! It's "friends" like this that have made my sister want very little to do with church people. STEP UP. BE JESUS.  Unless you had an excuse worse than breaking your back, it takes only a few minutes to pick out a card, write a few sentences, address and stamp it, and put it in a mailbox. I actually had a friend text me and tell me so many people only do online stuff now that that’s why no one was taking the time to send something in the mail and that I should set up a Facebook group to post comments for my sister.  Really?  Did you NOT just read that Facebook and tv is ALL she could do all day?  I was trying to give my extremely discouraged sister something a little more than a Facebook comment that takes all of 5 seconds to type.  My sister doesn't have the type of godly, caring friends that I do (or thought I did)....this was supposed to help, but instead it showed me just how many people I can count on in times of need. (Note- a few more people stepped up after I wrote this summary on Facebook right after her accident, so she ended up getting a few more things delivered.  To those, I am extremely thankful.) 

EVERYONE has a busy life. That is the CRAPPIEST excuse, and my sister and I both heard it.  You don't think everyone has busy times in their life? Yes we all do, but don't neglect your most loyal friends in their biggest times of need. BE THERE for the ones you care about, ESPECIALLY during the hardest times of their life! 

If you speak of loving people well, but can’t find time for something as simple as a sympathy card in the mail, your love is immature.  If you speak of loving people well, but you pat yourself on the back for giving someone a ride home once or twice, your love is conceited.  If you get angry at a friend not showing you attention during THEIR storm, your love is selfish.  Love is not just being there when it’s convenient, sometimes it’s about being there when it isn’t convenient at all.

It’s as simple as this.  If you think any of what I posted applies to you, whether it was in my situation, my sister’s, or a completely different situation, this is just meant to encourage people to brave the storm with your friend, instead of complaining about the rain through it.  Like I said above, no one wants to be in a lightning storm, but it happens to everyone at some point.  If you haven’t been through one, your time will come eventually…and I sure hope you have friends to walk through the floods….because if you don’t, the pain cuts even deeper than the storm by itself.  And if you are walking through one right now, please let me or someone else you trust know what is going on.  I want to walk with you.  No one should feel as alone as I did.

Love,

Leslie

P.S.  I do want to let a few people know I was extremely grateful for your encouragement and care for me during these horrible times- My family, education professors, Penn1 guy friends, Amber Webb, Allie Thompson, Angela Long, Bekah Brown, Emily Huebner, and anyone I barely knew who gave me a ride in those 6 months, and anyone who sent my sister something in the mail.  Your kindness did not go unnoticed, I promise!

29

29.  The last year of my 20s started last month.  They FLEW BY….and at the same time, I don’t even recognize myself from a few years back.  The 20s are pretty big, defining years for most people.  I’ve been thinking through them- the things I’m most thankful for through the years, most important things I learned, etc…

Early 20s-

-I am so thankful for the wise and caring professors during this time and the friends I had, especially in the education department at LU. 

-I would tell my early 20s self to get far, far away from some of those closest to me during this time.  And would also remind myself to keep in better touch with some back home as they would become better friends than those I was spending a lot of my time with.

-I am so thankful that, even though I had some of the scariest health times of my life during this time, that it wasn’t worse and I’m still able to manage it with daily epilepsy meds.  And I would tell myself to get used to health problems because they aren’t going away.

-I would MAKE SURE I left him as soon as I saw his response to the first seizure.  I would tell those who thought I wasn’t “present” or “there” for them, the kind of hell I was stuck in.  I would beg them to try harder to reach me, instead of telling me they “put way more into the friendship” than I did.  Communication is not a one way street.

Post grad-

-Just breathe.  It is all going to turn out ok….actually way better than you could’ve ever thought at this point. 

-I’m thankful for graduation and my church and job in Dallas. 

-I would tell myself it’s ok to live by yourself.  You do not need a roommate during this time in your life.  Learn about yourself as an adult instead of letting girl drama move in.

-I learned not to stay in situations that are discouraging over and over again without any change.  Get out. 

-Thankful for God’s grace in answering my prayer to bring me someone I could rely on and not have to learn to trust after so much untrustworthiness in my life-my good friend Riley took a chance and asked me to be his girlfriend.

Mid-20s-

- Thankful for marriage

- I apparently can’t make it more than 6 months away from Texas haha, and I’m ok with that.  Thankful for a Texan husband!

- Be careful who you vent to…some people CAN’T WAIT to make you look like a fool.

- I would tell myself not to let rude people turn me into a rude person.  It definitely happened a few times.  This world needs more kindness and gentleness passed on instead…

Late 20s-

- Thankful for children.

- Thankful for my parents and in-law’s wisdom and godly examples in our marriage and parenting.

- I am sorry to women who aren’t encouraged when they become moms…I have the MOST encouraging group of people I’ve ever had in my life right now, and am so thankful!
- Apparently there will always be women trying to start girl drama no matter what stage of life you're in.  Just leave them alone.

-Life is hard everywhere you turn.  Care for others, but beware of those who act like they are the only ones who ever go through anything.  They won’t be there much for you if you are the one going through something.

-  Life is about balance, even more after you become a parent.  How much time with/without your baby, how much time cleaning vs. sleeping, how much money on babysitting to get a date night, how often to ask family to babysit for free, how often to let your kid do this or that, when to let your kid do this or that, IF to let your kid do this or that, making time for friends when your baby refuses to nap etc. etc.

-  Learning to love who God created me to be and being ok with things that I used to think were flaws (my cerebral palsy, introverted/shy nature, sensitive soul. etc.)

-  I pray for contentment, courage, and confidence in this last year of my 20s and moving into my 30s

- Oh, and I pray for ENERGY to serve Him and my family well.

As I sat here at my laptop a few times to write this, the “things” that came to mind, as you may have noticed, are the people and relationships that defined my life in my 20s.  Life is always about people coming and going, staying and leaving, loving and living.  I learned to love well (including myself) and let go of those who don't love me back well.

Love,

Leslie

Thanksgiving in May...

While I was on a lunch date with a friend recently, we started discussing how 2016 is just a really crappy year so far for both of us, our families, politics (I mean REALLY?!  THOSE are the choices for our next President?!  I can’t imagine Hilary as commander of anything, much less Commander-in-chief), etc…just crappy all around.

You may or may not know that my husband works over an hour from our home right now.  He usually spends around 3 hours in the car each day just driving to and from work….the flood made it more like 4 hours for several weeks.  He barely gets to spend time with our baby girl during the week.  On top of that, he decided to buy an old BMW off Craigslist as a commuter car so that he doesn’t keep putting 120 miles on his truck every day.  After driving the BMW for THREE days, a guy rear ended him.  Then, the guy is dishonest and files a claim with our insurance saying my husband switched lanes at the last minute.  So, his insurance won’t cover the damages to husband’s car.

Ugh.

We haven’t been super social lately because we’re both either exhausted or trying to catch up on projects or trying to catch up as a family over the weekend.

Anyway, I just didn’t want to keep focusing on the negative.  I wanted to think (even as hard as it is lately) about the good in 2016-

I’m thankful my husband has a job.  We know many who do not right now.

I’m thankful he wasn’t injured in the wreck.

I’m thankful for my baby’s first birthday this year.

I’m thankful she’s too little to remember how busy her Daddy is right now trying to make sure she (and I) are provided for

I’m thankful baby girl has FINALLY started napping for about an hour and half most (not today or any other day she falls asleep in the car during outings lol) days.

I’m thankful for friends who are super understanding about me having ZERO time to socialize for months b/c of the reasons listed, but then when we finally get to hang out, we pick up right where we left off.

I’m thankful we only had a little water in the house from the flood.  Towels and fans took care of it.  And all of our family was safe and dry too!

I’m thankful for a Momma who will come watch my baby girl so I can have a best friend date to get nails done for the first time in MONTHS. Momma ALSO brought me Chickfila...THEN decided to have baby girl stay the night with her so that I could get some things done around the house and around town and have extra chill time with the Hubs.

I’m thankful my Dad comes in most Thursdays and brings me dinner so that Riley and I don’t have to pay for a babysitter while we are at small group each week.

I’m thankful for that sweet small group community and my community at MOPS.

I’m thankful our family beach vacation is coming VERY soon.

Life is a bit rough right now, but this season, this year, won’t last forever.

Love,

Leslie

Little Love

Our sweet baby girl turns one tomorrow.  I cannot believe her first birthday is already here! 

She is the greatest little blessing.  We planned for her and prayed for her, and God heard.  She was by no means a surprise.  However, her birthdate WAS.  She was due March 2^nd, but chose to come 6 days early, not much I know, but 6 days early put her birthday the day BEFORE the hubs and my anniversary. (at least it wasn’t 5 days early, right? Haha)  She still let us have “our day”.

I’m not gonna lie.  When she was first born, it reeeeally bothered me that her birthday was the day before our anniversary.  Understand, I was never bitter towards her.  No, not at all.  I just kept thinking, “Why couldn’t we have been able to get pregnant one month sooner?  Why couldn’t I have gone a little past my due date like a lot of my friends?”  But really, the dates being right next to each other on the calendar mostly bothered me because of what I thought other people were thinking.  I still get comments like, “Holy crap.  Her birthday is literally the day before your anniversary?!”  Or “You’ll never get to celebrate your anniversary again!”  And “You are going to have to start celebrating your half anniversary!”  No.  Just STOP.  Yes, we did spend our anniversary in the hospital last year.  Yes, we have a unique situation, but we do not have to give up our day. 

Actually, in some ways, it makes things a little easier.  My in-laws are coming into town to celebrate her birthday and will be staying at our house.  So, they are going to stay with her over-night on our anniversary so that we can go to dinner and stay in a hotel that night.  Free babysitter alllll night.  Yeah, it’s not so bad.  There’s just a lot of love this week of February as we celebrate OUR love and our first “little love” :-)

Some of my favorite things about our Little Love-

As soon as she was born, the nurse said “You look just like your daddy!” and that’s all I heard for months (not a bad thing as he and his brothers were some of the CUTEST little boys ever), but she has started looking a little more like me too lately

Even though she is WALKING all over the house, she still loves to stop and snuggle with Momma

She adores the pets, especially sharing her food (sometimes handfuls of her favorite) with them.  Esther the dog has found a best friend haha, and even the scaredy cat will let her pet him.

She loves to kiss me, her Daddy, Esther doggy, stuffed animals….

She loves welcoming her Daddy when he gets home from work 
Even though it makes it more difficult for me lol, she always wants to see what I'm cooking

She loves to play outside and isn’t afraid to get dirty

She is a social butterfly, not shy at all

She is really confident when she tries new things

She loves music, and will clap or dance almost anytime music is playing in the house, but especially when she hears Carrie Underwood...and will play the guitar with her Grandpa

She loves to be told about photos on the walls or in our phones

She is a good little traveler

She is such a sweet, happy baby

She smiles A LOT

She gave me a new name- Momma

She is MINE and the greatest gift I’ve ever received

Love,

Momma Leslie

2014

This was supposed to be written closer to Thanksgiving, but traveling and family and friend time got in the way.  I’m not sorry ;-)

Anyway, this has been a pretty big year and I felt like making a thankful list.  So, it works well as a last day of the year post too...

I’m thankful for this healthy baby girl growing inside me and all her cool movements I feel and her daddy experiences.

I’m thankful for her daddy, my amazing husband, who has been very patient with my preggo sick times, too sleepy to clean the house times, and I can barely move and need a massage times.  I have truly seen him live out “in sickness and in health” this year.

I’m thankful for several big trips this year before that slows down a little for several years.  Cancun for our 2^nd anniversary before we started planning for baby girl.  Hawaii for my brother-in-law and new sister-in-law’s wedding.  And Tennessee to see beautiful fall colors and winter coming in from the mountains.

I’m thankful for my new sister.

I’m thankful for the amazing extended family on both sides that will show an enormous amount of love to our baby girl.

I’m thankful my husband has only had to travel one week since the beginning of October.

I’m thankful for a flexible work schedule for myself to travel with the hubs, or stay at home when this baby makes me feel bad.

I’m thankful for all the sweet gifts already given to us for baby girl when I haven’t even had my showers yet.

I’m thankful for a good watchdog, yet a gentle puppy at the same time.

I’m thankful for the goofiest kitty who was really funny when my baby belly first started showing.

I’m thankful for best friend dates, especially our fall double date with our husbands that included pumpkin spice lattes, a pumpkin patch, and pumpkin carving.

I’m thankful that almost every big item on our baby registry has been bought for us.

I have a feeling 2015 will be an even bigger year.  Thank you, Jesus, for all these things!  Thank you friends and family for so much love, time, and support this year!  Happy New Year, everyone!

I leave you with these random thoughts for 2015...

Love,

Leslie

Lovey Dovey Stuff

Sorry, I didn't plan on being all lovey dovey in my first real post in 4 and a half years, but this week is Valentine’s Day and at the end of the month the hubby and I celebrate our 2nd anniversary.  SO-

In almost 2 years of marriage, I feel like one of the best things for us is to recognize and remember each other’s love language.

The 5  Love Languages-

• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Words of Affirmation

The hubs and I both have 2 main love languages, one in common and one different.  For both of us, quality time is a big deal.  We want to be around each other, having good conversations, and doing activities we both enjoy.  Unfortunately, for over a year now, hubby’s job has taken him away from Texas 2 weeks a month.  So, the quality time we do get is an even bigger deal.  Some of the quality time we both love are just simple pleasures like tv marathons of our favorite shows, walks around the neighborhood with our puppy, and road trips (we love traveling!)  But after a while of just trying to squeeze time in when he WAS in town…it ended up ONLY being those 3 things we were doing almost all the time.  Don’t get me wrong…I loved the time we could get together enjoying those, but I just started feeling like we got in a dull routine of just doing the most ordinary and easiest thing at the time.  I remembered a few of my most favorite times we had had as a dating and barely married couple-

• A random afternoon trip to the lake in his boat taking pictures of the  bright green lily pads, flying white egrets, and tall trees.

• An evening at my apartment before he graduated from college, I was showing him the dresses I could pick from to where to his graduation dinner.  After I put on one “little black dress”, he loved it and we put some music on and danced the night away.

• At this one park in my husband‘s hometown (my favorite park I’ve ever been to) in the springtime, it’s kinda like walking in a fairytale or something.  These yellow flowers (really weeds, but I pretend ;-) ) grow almost as tall as I am.  Funny little road signs have been set up along this walking and biking path…tiny versions of car road signs, like a STOP sign and YEILD sign.  It’s super weird and I loved walking through it and taking pictures.

I was missing these kind of quality time ADVENTURES!

• So, we have made it a priority to plan a few of these lately-In the fall which is my absolute favorite time of year, we went back to that weird, fairy-tale like park because, well, it’s my favorite time of year!  We took our puppy for a walk there.  The trees and ground were covered with crunchy yellow leaves.  It was the most gorgeous day of the year, in my opinion.  Once again, we took pictures…I take tons.  Are you following me on instagram already?

• And over Christmas break, we took a random, silly date to a Good Will.  We each set out to find the most ridiculous items in the store, especially clothing items to make the other try on.  More pictures. :-)

I saw this quote recently-  “We assume others show love the same way we do - and if they don’t, we worry it’s not there.”  
It was a pin on Pinterest.  So, I have no idea who the author is lol.

HOW someone knows they ARE loved is pretty important, right?  So, I encourage you to make it a priority to make a big deal of your significant other’s, best friend’s, or family member’s love language however you can.

John 13:34
~Leslie~