Mommas, you don't have to do everything.

Whether you’re a working momma or stay at home momma of littles, this is one of the hardest seasons.  I know (most of the time it's fun too, but hard)  There are days (or months) where your child refuses to nap, throws tantrums, hangs on your leg the ENTIRE time you try to cook dinner, nights of very little sleep and days of potty training, and weeks with very little adult interaction if you are a SAHM like me or weeks of wishing you had more time with your baby if you are a working momma. (and don’t forget each of us is judged no matter what we do, and offered advice by women who ignored us before we were mothers or “on the same level” as some see it)

My family doesn't make it to Sunday church every week…or even every month.  In fact, this year was so hard as you have probably read in previous posts, that we barely went at all.  We needed REST.  We still stayed involved.  We participated in a small group every week.  I participated in MOPS and MOPS Bible Study every week.  We were and are still committed to loving and serving God, even if that means we are doing it from our couch more Sundays than not.  Some may disagree, but serving my family comes before serving a church.  I need to make sure my family is well taken care of, before I use the little energy I have pouring myself into different activities outside my home.

Hear me when I say, I’m not advocating for me to get to be lazy outside of serving my family.  I don’t have a ton of wisdom to offer, but just from my experience, I do have something to say-  It is absolutely ok to be in a season where you are served more than you are serving, you are resting more than committing, participating instead of hosting/leading.

I am in a small group with some of the closest friends I’ve ever had.  About once a month or so, the leaders try to come up with a service project.  Some projects are just buying certain items to donate to a certain shelter or program.  Those I can almost always participate in.  However, if it involves our family getting up and helping in a soup kitchen early on a Saturday morning, we won’t normally be able to participate.  We are not hiring a babysitter during this season so that both of us can spend time working outside of the home.  Sometimes, one of us can participate while the other stays with our little girl.  And that is OK.

One of my favorite ways to serve in this season that doesn’t require me to find a babysitter or a lot of extra time- Making meals for new moms. It’s not hard since I’m already making dinner for my own family to double a casserole recipe or to make twice as much taco meat and buy twice as many tortillas.  (or if it is a busy or difficult week, but a new mom is still in need, just buying a frozen meal to give or even calling a delivery place for the family) I love doing this now because I know what it's like to barely be able to keep your eyes open, much less get up and prepare an entire meal for the rest of the family. 

The Lord never said we needed to try to take care of EVERYTHING in every season.  He just said what you do, do well.  “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men”-Colossians 3:23-

He also gently cares for us, mommas-

"He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young." -Isaiah 40:11-

Right now, He is gently leading me to realize when and where to serve and to say “no” I can’t take care of everything right now.  I can worship and serve him well in my own home.

Love,

Leslie

Our journey. Not yours.

I know this is a really lame post for the first one of 2017, but I need to say it…

We have been asked.  My mother has been asked.  Even MY SISTER has been asked.

So, let me set the record straight.  It is NONE of your business when my husband and I are “planning” or “trying” for another baby.

As of right now, we do not have a baby due in 2017.  If that changes, you can find out WHEN I WANT to give out that info.

Not really sure why or how it became socially acceptable to ask that question.  Yeah, “everyone just gets curious” yadda yadda yadda….you’re basically asking how often my husband and I get down to business (oh I’m sorry, did reading that make you uncomfortable?  Well, how do you think I feel ANSWERING that question?)

This has been the most stressful year of our lives.  The Hubs is in the car 3 hours a day just driving to and from work.  Sometimes, he doesn’t even get to see the one child he does have every day.  We miss him quite a lot.  And that’s not all.  I have had some health issues throughout the years, including 2016...and it's a good idea to make sure your body is strong and healthy before you carry around a baby inside of you for 9 months, right?  Yeah...

I have some friends with kids less than a year apart.  I have a friend with college and high school age kids…then had another baby last year.  Everyone’s family journey is different and unique….and it’s our journey, not yours.

"Mind your own biscuits, and life will be gravy" -KACEY MUSGRAVES-

Thanks,

Leslie

Another Thanksgiving

This year has been tough.  Almost from the very beginning as my sister broke her back in a horse riding accident in January (to those who still ask how her recovery is going, you are so sweet.  She is actually doing great.  Her back gets a little tight sometimes, but she has already been back on a horse, taking it much easier now)  My husband’s job commute is 2.5-3 hours daily which extended to about 4 during the crazy floods in the spring.  We got some really hard news this fall….and don’t know when good news will come from that specific situation. Oh and let’s not even get started on the crazy political atmosphere we have in this country right now…

And I know I’m not alone.  I’ve had many friends share their stories of discouragement and heartache in 2016.  I wrote a Thanksgiving in May post because I wanted to focus on the good, instead of the bad that was happening.  Well, 2016 has continued to disappoint, but I still want to find the good to praise the Lord for.

Since I wrote that post in May, I’ll start with something good in each month since then.

June-  My birthday month. And my Momma’s.  And Mom-in-law's.  We had good family time and I actually celebrated my birthday with my in-laws over Father’s Day weekend.  How many people can say they are HAPPY to celebrate their birthday with in-laws?  Not many, but mine are the best.  They made me a cake and bought be some of my favorite things.  Then, watched baby girl so the Hubs and I could go out.

July-  I saw one of my cousin’s marry his high school sweetheart in one of the sweetest, God honoring ceremonies I’ve been to.  Also, Cow Appreciation Day!  I had been waiting several years to go with one of my favorites who has an amazing cow onesie that she wears to celebrate the joyous occasion every July.  It was such a fun day being silly with her and baby girl!

August-  The Hub’s birthday.  We had such a fun celebration with family and friends.  Also, baby girl turned 18 months…and ever since that big milestone, she has just been getting an even bigger, funnier, sassier, sillier personality and it’s just adorable.

September-  This was the hardest month.  But we had an awesome friendcation with my best friend, our husbands, and our babies.  It was full of relaxing days, refreshing conversations, and fun times in a nice little house out in Wimberley, Texas.  Also, had some good sisterhood time one afternoon with a few friends from college!

October-  Family reunions, baby showers, pumpkin patches, Taco Salad Parties, and friends’ gender reveal parties.  October, while it didn’t feel very much like fall outside, had many good celebrations to help with the sadness of September.

November-  Full of family time.  My parents hosted an awesome Thanksgiving Day feast…and helped a lot with baby girl. Then, went to the in-laws for the weekend for some more family time, food, rest, and help with baby girl. 

My momma came today, brought Chickfila, and helped with baby girl until she went down for a nap.  Then, my dad is coming when he gets off work and will bring us some dinner.  They both usually do this once a week for us.  So sweet.

Hoping December will end with 2017 not looking as dreary as 2016 has been.  However, you can see that I really do have a lot of blessings to think about, praise Jesus for, and not forget.  Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!  Can you think of something to be thankful for each month?

Love,

Leslie

Like a Lightning Storm (part 1)

I LOVE the summer Olympics.  I always look forward to the gymnastics competitions.  It is amazing to see what these athletes are capable of, how they can twist, turn, stretch, and push their bodies to do extraordinary actions.

At the same time, it is a reminder at how fragile bodies can be.  It is the anniversary of one of the most terrifying times of my life.

I wrote this on my blog right after it happened…

That night started out as an ordinary evening spent with my family. We were talking and watching the Olympics. Then, I lay on the couch. For the next few minutes, I don’t remember anything. Mom said it looked like I was stretching, then got stuck that way. I started trembling. I was having a seizure. It lasted a minute or so, then I went unconscious. My face turned blue.  My parents called an ambulance. I didn’t wake up until the paramedic gave me oxygen. Then, he took blood, asking me basic questions, like where I go to school. My family tells me I was so disoriented I acted like a child, pushing the oxygen mask away, and complaining about them taking blood from my finger, and giggling about my answers to the questions. I don’t remember a thing. I remember them asking me a question about something right before getting into the car to go to the hospital. We were at the hospital for at least 3 hours. They did a brain scan, checked blood pressure, and did several other tests. All came back fine. We got back home past midnight and I slept almost all day afterwards, still having a headache.  Seizures are sometimes caused by stress, eating at unusual times, and/or caffeine.  I felt a little dizzy, not much, but then I was just out. I’ve never had anything like this happen to me since my stroke at birth.

It happened 8 years ago. 

I still have side effects, like migraines that come on so hard, I lose my vision for 30 seconds or more.  Thank goodness I’ve only been driving once when it happened, on a road with few cars and I could pull off real fast before I wrecked into something.  The meds really drain my energy.  Sometimes, my memory is not as good as it once was.

While in college exactly 2 months later, I had another one.  After that, I got put on epilepsy medicine (which I will probably be on the rest of my life because I was told after you have 2 seizures, there is a 50/50 chance that you could have another one in your life)  and was not allowed to drive for 6 months.

Someone once described a seizure like this- 

End part 1

Love,

Leslie

P.S. I know this was kinda dramatic, but a friend recently told me they had no idea that I had had a grand mal seizure (the most dramatic kind) which is funny because I was so open about it, yet felt so very alone at the time….and something pretty dramatic happened to a family member this year, and she had many react the same way people responded to me afterwards.  So, part 2 will be a "How to respond during a lightning storm in your friend's life".  Just hoping to help others in really crappy situations.

29

29.  The last year of my 20s started last month.  They FLEW BY….and at the same time, I don’t even recognize myself from a few years back.  The 20s are pretty big, defining years for most people.  I’ve been thinking through them- the things I’m most thankful for through the years, most important things I learned, etc…

Early 20s-

-I am so thankful for the wise and caring professors during this time and the friends I had, especially in the education department at LU. 

-I would tell my early 20s self to get far, far away from some of those closest to me during this time.  And would also remind myself to keep in better touch with some back home as they would become better friends than those I was spending a lot of my time with.

-I am so thankful that, even though I had some of the scariest health times of my life during this time, that it wasn’t worse and I’m still able to manage it with daily epilepsy meds.  And I would tell myself to get used to health problems because they aren’t going away.

-I would MAKE SURE I left him as soon as I saw his response to the first seizure.  I would tell those who thought I wasn’t “present” or “there” for them, the kind of hell I was stuck in.  I would beg them to try harder to reach me, instead of telling me they “put way more into the friendship” than I did.  Communication is not a one way street.

Post grad-

-Just breathe.  It is all going to turn out ok….actually way better than you could’ve ever thought at this point. 

-I’m thankful for graduation and my church and job in Dallas. 

-I would tell myself it’s ok to live by yourself.  You do not need a roommate during this time in your life.  Learn about yourself as an adult instead of letting girl drama move in.

-I learned not to stay in situations that are discouraging over and over again without any change.  Get out. 

-Thankful for God’s grace in answering my prayer to bring me someone I could rely on and not have to learn to trust after so much untrustworthiness in my life-my good friend Riley took a chance and asked me to be his girlfriend.

Mid-20s-

- Thankful for marriage

- I apparently can’t make it more than 6 months away from Texas haha, and I’m ok with that.  Thankful for a Texan husband!

- Be careful who you vent to…some people CAN’T WAIT to make you look like a fool.

- I would tell myself not to let rude people turn me into a rude person.  It definitely happened a few times.  This world needs more kindness and gentleness passed on instead…

Late 20s-

- Thankful for children.

- Thankful for my parents and in-law’s wisdom and godly examples in our marriage and parenting.

- I am sorry to women who aren’t encouraged when they become moms…I have the MOST encouraging group of people I’ve ever had in my life right now, and am so thankful!
- Apparently there will always be women trying to start girl drama no matter what stage of life you're in.  Just leave them alone.

-Life is hard everywhere you turn.  Care for others, but beware of those who act like they are the only ones who ever go through anything.  They won’t be there much for you if you are the one going through something.

-  Life is about balance, even more after you become a parent.  How much time with/without your baby, how much time cleaning vs. sleeping, how much money on babysitting to get a date night, how often to ask family to babysit for free, how often to let your kid do this or that, when to let your kid do this or that, IF to let your kid do this or that, making time for friends when your baby refuses to nap etc. etc.

-  Learning to love who God created me to be and being ok with things that I used to think were flaws (my cerebral palsy, introverted/shy nature, sensitive soul. etc.)

-  I pray for contentment, courage, and confidence in this last year of my 20s and moving into my 30s

- Oh, and I pray for ENERGY to serve Him and my family well.

As I sat here at my laptop a few times to write this, the “things” that came to mind, as you may have noticed, are the people and relationships that defined my life in my 20s.  Life is always about people coming and going, staying and leaving, loving and living.  I learned to love well (including myself) and let go of those who don't love me back well.

Love,

Leslie

Thanksgiving in May...

While I was on a lunch date with a friend recently, we started discussing how 2016 is just a really crappy year so far for both of us, our families, politics (I mean REALLY?!  THOSE are the choices for our next President?!  I can’t imagine Hilary as commander of anything, much less Commander-in-chief), etc…just crappy all around.

You may or may not know that my husband works over an hour from our home right now.  He usually spends around 3 hours in the car each day just driving to and from work….the flood made it more like 4 hours for several weeks.  He barely gets to spend time with our baby girl during the week.  On top of that, he decided to buy an old BMW off Craigslist as a commuter car so that he doesn’t keep putting 120 miles on his truck every day.  After driving the BMW for THREE days, a guy rear ended him.  Then, the guy is dishonest and files a claim with our insurance saying my husband switched lanes at the last minute.  So, his insurance won’t cover the damages to husband’s car.

Ugh.

We haven’t been super social lately because we’re both either exhausted or trying to catch up on projects or trying to catch up as a family over the weekend.

Anyway, I just didn’t want to keep focusing on the negative.  I wanted to think (even as hard as it is lately) about the good in 2016-

I’m thankful my husband has a job.  We know many who do not right now.

I’m thankful he wasn’t injured in the wreck.

I’m thankful for my baby’s first birthday this year.

I’m thankful she’s too little to remember how busy her Daddy is right now trying to make sure she (and I) are provided for

I’m thankful baby girl has FINALLY started napping for about an hour and half most (not today or any other day she falls asleep in the car during outings lol) days.

I’m thankful for friends who are super understanding about me having ZERO time to socialize for months b/c of the reasons listed, but then when we finally get to hang out, we pick up right where we left off.

I’m thankful we only had a little water in the house from the flood.  Towels and fans took care of it.  And all of our family was safe and dry too!

I’m thankful for a Momma who will come watch my baby girl so I can have a best friend date to get nails done for the first time in MONTHS. Momma ALSO brought me Chickfila...THEN decided to have baby girl stay the night with her so that I could get some things done around the house and around town and have extra chill time with the Hubs.

I’m thankful my Dad comes in most Thursdays and brings me dinner so that Riley and I don’t have to pay for a babysitter while we are at small group each week.

I’m thankful for that sweet small group community and my community at MOPS.

I’m thankful our family beach vacation is coming VERY soon.

Life is a bit rough right now, but this season, this year, won’t last forever.

Love,

Leslie

Leslie's Limp

I’m about to open up in a way I don’t very often, friends.

As a preemie baby, I had a form of a stroke when I was born which caused me to have mild cerebral palsy on the right side of my body.  I walk with a limp and do not have much use of my right hand.  I can pretty much only open and close it in a fist.  I cannot move my fingers individually on that hand. Many of you know at least some of this, but probably not all.  

I’ve never been in any pain from the stroke or cerebral palsy.  It’s mostly just a huge annoyance.  People don’t always notice a “slight” disability right away.  Chickfila is the best place to work ever and my bosses were totally understanding, but every time a new person started working with me and asked me to do something like carry a tub of sweet tea or lemonade from the back of the store to the front and pour it from the tub to the high containers without spilling, I had to tell them I couldn’t do that.  Then, sometimes explain to them WHY I couldn’t in front of other employees.  And can’t pour the ice cream in the ice cream maker for the same reason.  Or tell them that I don’t work at the drive thru during busy hours because I type the order in too slowly….etc etc. you get the picture.  Sometimes, they just thought I was trying to get out of work.

When I was little, it didn’t really bother me much.  I didn’t even realize I was very different.  As a teenager, I became more self-conscious about it (especially around boys and co-workers), and the feeling of not being “enough” or lacking something crept in.  Now as an adult with a lot more responsibility, it is the hardest time to deal with it.

Some things you may have never thought of that are difficult for me-

I’m typing right now with one hand and had to do that with every paper I ever wrote in high school and college.

I like to cook, but something as simple as draining grease from a pan, chopping vegetables, or icing a cake sometimes requires (a) my husband’s help or (b) 4 times as much time as most people need.  And now that I have a very affectionate and physically needy child, if she is screaming and pulling on my leg to be held while I’m in the kitchen, sometimes I need 5 or 6 times as much time to complete a task.

Chores- oh where do I begin?  It’s hard enough for ANY parent to vacuum and hold a clingy child at the same time.  For me?  It’s almost impossible. (I did do baby wearing when she was much smaller, but even the Ergo is hard to get on by myself)

Even something as simple as lighting a match is extremely difficult for me.

I’ve learned to adapt to most things.  I would start papers early and take breaks.  I either start dinner way before the hubby gets home or find easy dinners.  We budgeted so that baby girl could go to a Mother’s Day Out one day a week, and I could clean the house that day without breaking my back.

Yes, there are so many people that have way worse struggles than me.  I know.  I know pretty much everyone deals with struggles not many people know about.  I'm tired of mine being one "not many people know about."  That's all.  I just needed to get this out because I have felt judged in numerous situations and people probably don’t realize what's going on.  I am learning to accept that-

I’m a SAHM who should have “plenty of time” to keep a clean house, but can’t.

I bring store-bought cookies to many events or my icing job sucks on the homemade ones I do bring.

I don’t like to participate in game nights, especially ones that involve charades or other certain physical activities, but will always have people pressure me to and try to embarrass me when I still don’t participate.

Whenever we do have company, the hubs is the one doing most of the food-prep and cooking because it would take me too long.

People will think I’m a "demanding" or "needy" spouse for asking my hubs to help with such simple tasks as going through a buffet line, ESPECIALLY if soup is involved (one thing that almost gives me full on anxiety attacks lol)  

P.S. My husband doesn't mind.  God gave me the BEST helpmate!

These are all things I have felt judged for.  I know this post was ALL about ME.  This isn’t to get sympathy or anything like that.  And some of you may even think that it's not that bad and I’m just not trying hard enough or making excuses so that I can just be lazy about things.  No.  I’ve pushed myself too hard for too long.  This is to inform.  This is for me, the perfectionist, to set myself free a little, to cut myself some slack, to be ok with myself, struggles and all. 

Is there something in your life you need to let go?  Is there something you need to cut yourself some slack on?  To be ok with yourself, struggles and all?

 This encouragement has been my life verse since high school.  “His righteous right hand” is so special every time I read it.  HIS strength, His help, His grace, His mercies are what my life is all about anyway.  He can use me AND my disability.

Love,

Leslie

Little Love

Our sweet baby girl turns one tomorrow.  I cannot believe her first birthday is already here! 

She is the greatest little blessing.  We planned for her and prayed for her, and God heard.  She was by no means a surprise.  However, her birthdate WAS.  She was due March 2^nd, but chose to come 6 days early, not much I know, but 6 days early put her birthday the day BEFORE the hubs and my anniversary. (at least it wasn’t 5 days early, right? Haha)  She still let us have “our day”.

I’m not gonna lie.  When she was first born, it reeeeally bothered me that her birthday was the day before our anniversary.  Understand, I was never bitter towards her.  No, not at all.  I just kept thinking, “Why couldn’t we have been able to get pregnant one month sooner?  Why couldn’t I have gone a little past my due date like a lot of my friends?”  But really, the dates being right next to each other on the calendar mostly bothered me because of what I thought other people were thinking.  I still get comments like, “Holy crap.  Her birthday is literally the day before your anniversary?!”  Or “You’ll never get to celebrate your anniversary again!”  And “You are going to have to start celebrating your half anniversary!”  No.  Just STOP.  Yes, we did spend our anniversary in the hospital last year.  Yes, we have a unique situation, but we do not have to give up our day. 

Actually, in some ways, it makes things a little easier.  My in-laws are coming into town to celebrate her birthday and will be staying at our house.  So, they are going to stay with her over-night on our anniversary so that we can go to dinner and stay in a hotel that night.  Free babysitter alllll night.  Yeah, it’s not so bad.  There’s just a lot of love this week of February as we celebrate OUR love and our first “little love” :-)

Some of my favorite things about our Little Love-

As soon as she was born, the nurse said “You look just like your daddy!” and that’s all I heard for months (not a bad thing as he and his brothers were some of the CUTEST little boys ever), but she has started looking a little more like me too lately

Even though she is WALKING all over the house, she still loves to stop and snuggle with Momma

She adores the pets, especially sharing her food (sometimes handfuls of her favorite) with them.  Esther the dog has found a best friend haha, and even the scaredy cat will let her pet him.

She loves to kiss me, her Daddy, Esther doggy, stuffed animals….

She loves welcoming her Daddy when he gets home from work 
Even though it makes it more difficult for me lol, she always wants to see what I'm cooking

She loves to play outside and isn’t afraid to get dirty

She is a social butterfly, not shy at all

She is really confident when she tries new things

She loves music, and will clap or dance almost anytime music is playing in the house, but especially when she hears Carrie Underwood...and will play the guitar with her Grandpa

She loves to be told about photos on the walls or in our phones

She is a good little traveler

She is such a sweet, happy baby

She smiles A LOT

She gave me a new name- Momma

She is MINE and the greatest gift I’ve ever received

Love,

Momma Leslie

Rest. Refresh. Balance. FLOURISH.

During a MOPS meeting at the beginning of last semester, the topic was “Embracing Rest”.  Our lovely speaker had us write on a random piece of paper a list of things that make us feel refreshed.

Here are some on my list-

Nap with baby girl when she naps…the dishes can wait.

Going for a walk on the walking trail in our subdivision.

Taking photos

Chickfila Dates

Organizing (when I have someone else watching baby girl…this is NOT restful/refreshing when she is in the same room haha)

Massages

And we are supposed to keep that and add to the list.  I’ve already added-

Blogging

Making time for my business adventures

Long showers/baths

2015 was a wonderfully crazy, busy year having a new baby, starting a business, getting little rest and sleep.  I know the years are going to bring much more of that too.  But I decided to take control of “Leslie Time” this month.  I love, LOVE being a SAHM (stay at home Mom)  I wouldn’t want it any other way!  However, my sweet girl has not napped well since she first starting teething about 4 months ago.  She still sleeps through the night 10-12 hours, but unless she is in the car or in my arms, naps rarely last even half an hour 1 or 2 times a day.  Plus, first year trying to build up her immune system and sticking everything in her mouth at the same time meant colds every couple of weeks since the beginning of fall.  Most days, I don’t mind the extra snuggles.  They are SO very sweet.  However, sometimes I just need “Leslie time”.  Part of that is being introverted, part of it is just needing balance.

Our house had begun to look like a tornado went through it on a daily basis because I couldn’t work on chores until she went to bed for the night.  And that time after she goes to bed is precious hubby quality time I don't want to give up either! Now, I’m not a neat-freak and I know my house will never be as it once was, with all the extra toys diapers, wipes, blankies, etc. but it was just getting ridiculous and down-right depressing me.  I didn’t want guests EVER.

I haven’t been able to make lunch dates or any kind of friend dates that weren’t scheduled (like small group, MOPS, etc.) or right after those scheduled events.  I am seriously missing some of my friend dates, and never wanted to push those friendships aside when I became a momma.

So, Hubs and I decided to work on our budget and put baby girl in a Mother’s Day Out program once a week.  She started last Wednesday at our church.  She is familiar with her caregivers AND I trust them.  Plus, I was able to get a massage and come back to start deep cleaning my house while she was gone.  Now, I am writing this blog and continuing to really clean/organize the house.  BALANCE.  I’m getting a few hours once a week for ME.  It’s not for selfish reasons.  It’s for balance.  Refreshment.  Rest.  I’m EMBRACING this short time without my girl to be restful and productive at the same time.

2016 words of the year for Leslie= BALANCE. REST. REFRESH.

Basically, to FLOURISH.

Friend, what is YOUR 2016 going to be about?

~Leslie~

Sharing about Mom Life

Half a year.  I CANNOT BELIEVE my baby is half a year old already.  That’s crazy.  She is seriously amazing.  So happy all the time.  It is such a joy to watch her grow.  It’s amazing that she has gone from not even holding her head up all the way to army crawling in this amount of time!

A while back when I knew children were still a few years off for the hubs and me, I made a few comments about mothers over-sharing on social media.  I was HIGHLY criticized for having an opinion on things that have to do with children before I had any of my own.  Well, I do have one of my own now.  I’ve been a momma for 6 months.  I know that’s not very long, but I’ve definitely learned a lot already.

I could tell you all about the diaper disasters I’ve experienced and the amount of laundry with it, but I won’t….because I don’t enjoy reading about your baby’s diaper disasters while I’m perusing facebook and eating lunch.

I could show you pictures of the way I feed my child, but that is personal and done out of sight.  I didn’t show off that part of my body before I was a mom, so I’m not going to start now.

I could tell you how many times what goes in my baby’s mouth comes back out, but you probably don’t want to know….I deal with it with a joyful attitude, but it’s not like it’s a pleasant thing to clean up…so why would I think ya’ll would care to read an update about it?

I could tell you what we have to deal with when she gets sick, but other than a “My baby is sick.  Please, pray for her to feel better ASAP” request, I don’t think you want to hear the specifics.

I could post naked baby pictures, but a friend told me a story about someone doing that then later finding out a member of the family viewed child porn...so pictures like that will never be posted.

I could tell you how her potty training is going about a year and a half from now, but other than “I don’t have to change her diaper anymore!!”…I’ll spare you the icky details.

I had all of these views before I became a mother.  They haven’t changed.  I value my personal and private moments being kept personal and private.  Sleep-deprivation didn’t mess up my brain so much that I have to “let it all out” in a social media setting whether you wanted to experience it with me or not.  I have all kinds of people on my social media accounts that I want to be considerate of.  Yes, there are many things you can’t understand until you are a parent, but being considerate of the different people in your audience is something ANYONE can understand.  I’m not going to make you experience certain parts of life when it’s not your time to do so and you prefer to wait until it is your time.

If you are someone who shares all the details, but prefaces it with a “WARNING- graphic post about…”  BLESS YOU.  I recently had a friend want to share about how her little girl was responding in a sweet way to a situation regarding her 2^nd pregnancy, but knew it was a little graphic…and that’s how she started the post.  Great idea!  My post a while back very quickly turned from "Leslie doesn't like to hear about disgusting things, to Leslie thinks this group of people is disgusting and Leslie is not gracious, understanding, or patient."  Well, guess what?  I am a part of that group now.  I’m not a hypocrite.  I do understand mom life now.  (Side note- the main person calling me “ungracious, not understanding, and impatient” went on to block me because THAT is how to respond with grace, understanding, and patience in a disagreement, right? *sarcasm*)

LASTLY, my comment on feeding my child is how I CHOOSE to do it.  I cover up.  Like I said, I was modest before motherhood, so I continue that.  HOWEVER, if you choose a different way, you are still doing a great job taking care of your baby!  I know some moms would love to cover up, but their baby is claustrophobic and will literally try to rip the cover off.  You are a wonderful mommy for thinking of your child’s needs even if you are uncomfortable.  I’m so thankful my little one is ok being covered so that I don’t deal with that, but not everyone is in the same position.  I have my opinions.  You have yours.  But all of us mommies are just doing our very best for our children.  

This was not an attack on anyone or their character.  I have never forgotten how women who barely knew me sure tried to attack mine that day.  This post was to let you all know that I do have opinions now that I am a mother, and most have not changed since before I was one.  It’s not about not being “gracious, understanding, or patient”…it’s about considering your WHOLE audience.  Understand that I do so enjoy seeing pictures of my friend's children, watching them grow and reach milestones.  Parenthood is wonderful and should be celebrated.  I'm just not one that enjoys extreme details on any personal matter, not just parenthood.  (If I had someone sharing details about their sex life on social media, I would not feel comfortable reading personal info like that either...but that's not where the extreme sharing is taking place.)  Maybe I’m overly squeamish, but others have shared these same opinions with me.

That is all. 

The last 8 months...

As I am about to start the last month of my pregnancy before we meet our baby girl, I have been reflecting on the last 8 months…

I will never plan a road trip in the mountains during the first trimester of a pregnancy again.

I will always have protein in my belly before I take those ridiculously huge prenatal vitamins every day…and keep peanut butter by my bed in case I need a little extra to get to sleep or to get out of bed without feeling nauseous (both have happened). 

Most preggos talk about the cute little baby hiccups they feel, instead I was the one with hiccups at least every other day during some of my 2^nd trimester.  Up until around 7 months, I only felt baby hiccups once.  Then, she started getting them in the middle of the night after I woke up to use the restroom lol

Also, most preggos talk about the crazy dreams they have.  The only weird dream I had was before we found out baby is a girl…I was going around to everyone insisting that we name him Tyson (not even one of the names on our list).  However, the Hubs had some crazy dreams for me…usually involving guns haha!

If I ever want to feel her kick, all I have to do is drink sweet tea from Chickfila.  She gets real excited/hyper…of course, my child would love Chickfila ;-)

Also, of course, our first child would be due on Texas Independence Day ;-)

I miss alcohol and sushi more than I thought I would.... And I don't even drink that much when I'm not pregnant, but a glass of wine or a cool drink when we were in Hawaii was definitely missed!

That moment Hubs heard her heartbeat and saw her moving on the ultrasound for the first time…you could just see in his eyes how REAL it finally was.  Also, the same date he started writing his speech for all the boys that will one day be interested in his little girl…

Last month, Hubs was reading us a Christmas devotional when baby girl started kicking like crazy. It was so cute....it was as if she was excited to recognize her daddy's voice and wanted to praise Jesus with us!  Already a DADDY'S GIRL!

It is fun to get her to react to a flashlight in a dark room (around 27 weeks babies can start telling whether it is light or dark outside of the womb) and have her kick my stomach so hard that she looks like an alien…Hubby’s reaction- wide-eyed “Whoooa!”

I never knew you could worry so much about someone you haven’t even met yet.

Cats get even weirder when your body is carrying another human being.  Dogs get more protective.

Sorry if this is awkward, but it’s still funny…First, know that I have never wanted one anyway, but after pregnancy I know I absolutely, positively NEVER want a boob job.  SO. HEAVY.  Ohmygosh.  Haha.

I cannot multitask when I’m pregnant, especially if one of those tasks is me talking to someone.  Probably the most embarrassing “pregnancy brain” moment I had was while talking to my mom on the phone, I was also looking at a high school buddy’s facebook page when I realized that I couldn’t see anything on his page, except his profile picture and a “happy birthday” comment from me months earlier.  I immediately sent him a “what the crap?!” message asking why he had deleted me!!  He had no idea what I was talking about, and had had some family drama so decided to hide most of his facebook announcements just so nosey people didn’t always know exactly what he was up to…this is the same friend who bought us a random Christmas gift a few months later I had registered for for baby girl….I have really sweet friends lol.

And last, I’m still completely blown away by the love and support from so many friends and family.  Whether you gave me maternity clothes so that I didn’t have to spend a fortune on a new wardrobe, sent random gifts, came to one of my showers, or just told me I was cute when I feel like a HIPPOPOTAMUS, thank you so very much.  I can’t wait for you all to meet my precious little one.

Love,

Leslie (and baby girl)

2014

This was supposed to be written closer to Thanksgiving, but traveling and family and friend time got in the way.  I’m not sorry ;-)

Anyway, this has been a pretty big year and I felt like making a thankful list.  So, it works well as a last day of the year post too...

I’m thankful for this healthy baby girl growing inside me and all her cool movements I feel and her daddy experiences.

I’m thankful for her daddy, my amazing husband, who has been very patient with my preggo sick times, too sleepy to clean the house times, and I can barely move and need a massage times.  I have truly seen him live out “in sickness and in health” this year.

I’m thankful for several big trips this year before that slows down a little for several years.  Cancun for our 2^nd anniversary before we started planning for baby girl.  Hawaii for my brother-in-law and new sister-in-law’s wedding.  And Tennessee to see beautiful fall colors and winter coming in from the mountains.

I’m thankful for my new sister.

I’m thankful for the amazing extended family on both sides that will show an enormous amount of love to our baby girl.

I’m thankful my husband has only had to travel one week since the beginning of October.

I’m thankful for a flexible work schedule for myself to travel with the hubs, or stay at home when this baby makes me feel bad.

I’m thankful for all the sweet gifts already given to us for baby girl when I haven’t even had my showers yet.

I’m thankful for a good watchdog, yet a gentle puppy at the same time.

I’m thankful for the goofiest kitty who was really funny when my baby belly first started showing.

I’m thankful for best friend dates, especially our fall double date with our husbands that included pumpkin spice lattes, a pumpkin patch, and pumpkin carving.

I’m thankful that almost every big item on our baby registry has been bought for us.

I have a feeling 2015 will be an even bigger year.  Thank you, Jesus, for all these things!  Thank you friends and family for so much love, time, and support this year!  Happy New Year, everyone!

I leave you with these random thoughts for 2015...

Love,

Leslie

Psalm 34:4

This is to update everyone on my last post.  If you missed it, you can read it here.

Some statistics about CF-

1 in about every 30 white Americans is a carrier.

1 in every 2,500 births of white Americans is a CF baby

If one parent is a carrier, there is a 50/50 chance they will have a child who is a carrier

When both parents are carriers there is still a 50/50 chance their child will be a carrier, a 25% chance their child will have CF, and a 25% chance their child will not have CF nor be a carrier of the disease

Life expectancy of a person with CF is around 37 years

Most people don’t know they are a carrier until they have a baby born with the disease

If you don’t know what cystic fibrosis is, I mentioned in the first post it sucks and I don’t really want to explain it, but there’s plenty of info online about it.

All this information is extremely scary and had me so anxious for the last few weeks.  I love this little being growing inside me unconditionally, and to think there was a possibility that I would outlive my child was so hard to think about.

We are praising The Lord big time right now!  At my 8 week appointment (I am now 16 weeks, woohoo!) I was tested for being a cystic fibrosis carrier.  Much to our surprise, I am one.  But as you see in the statistics, Riley had to be one too in order for our child to be born with the disease.  Riley FINALLY found out about his test results on Friday.  He is NOT a carrier!!  I was soooooo relieved.  Our babies could still be carriers, but apparently I’ve had carriers in my family passing it down for years and no one has ever been effected. 

We have such a great, loving, caring, patient, faithful God….even when we doubt and fail him.  That is what I have been doing the last few weeks.  I don’t think I’ve cared more about anything in my life than hearing a negative on Riley’s test results, and I chose to doubt God’s love and care, yet He came through in a huge way, like always.  I think the only time I’ve been close to this anxious is when I had my seizures and thought the doctors might tell me I had cancer or something.  The Lord is good.  I shouldn't doubt that ever.  Thankful and humbled.

Thank you for praying, my friends!

Leslie (and baby)

"For this child I prayed"

As most of you have seen, Riley and I are thrilled to become parents early next year!!  It’s going to be a big, awesome change.

Some of you know, or don’t, that I have had some really random health problems in my life.  One of these health issues started at birth when I had a semi-stroke that has caused me to walk with a limp and have mild cerebral palsy on the right side of my body.  It has never caused any pain, although the limp causes the annoying “Is your foot hurt?” question quite a lot.  My right side is just weaker and has a lot less dexterity than normal.  I can only open and close my right hand in a fist.  I cannot move my fingers individually on that hand.  It’s all mostly an inconvenience.  I went for 21 years without other issues.  Then, in college I had 2 random seizures 2 months a part.  It caused migraines the day after that would last the entire day until I went to bed that night.  This was unrelated to the stroke.  The only cause they could find was stress (from a really bad relationship and studying for my certification)  Ever since those, I have struggled with migraines and a few other health issues.  I didn't know how all of this was going to affect getting pregnant, but The Lord was gracious in that area.

No, I’m absolutely not trying to get sympathy.  Trust me, I KNOW MANY who are much worse off than me.

I’m writing this because with all MY random health issues and a few in my husband’s family, I have been very anxious about OUR BABY on the way.  I found out last week that I am a carrier of cystic fibrosis.  If you don’t know what that is, look it up.  It sucks….and I’m not going to explain it.  Anyway, if I’m the only one who is a carrier, our babies won’t have the disease.  However, if Riley is a carrier too, each kid we have has a 25% chance of having it.  Not a big percentage, but still very scary…especially since we didn't expect me to be a carrier since nothing like that has ever been in my family.  And I have a close friend who has a 1 year old with cystic fibrosis…so, I've seen just a glimpse of the scary and hard times that go along with cystic fibrosis.

I know that whatever happens, The Lord will be with us….but I’m still very anxious.  Riley will be tested next week.  Anyone reading this, PLEASE PRAY that he is not a carrier.  Thank you, sweet friends.

Love,

Leslie (and baby)