Sunday, June 28, 2009

First memory

So, I've been reminiscing about all different times in life lately. I remembered I had written a paper about one of my very first memories of my life...

Outside was black and loud with thunder. Leaves were shaking mightily and falling from their branches that were dancing frantically in the wind. The swing Mom had pushed me in earlier that afternoon was now wrapped and tangled around the big tree it hung from. Trying to distract us from the rain and thunder noises, Mom helped David and I get cozy inside and begin baking brownies.
Even though I was only three years old, I already wanted to practice my home-making skills. Mom cooked dinner and dessert every night, ready for dad when he returned home from work. Anytime mom was baking, I was her little chef. As the storm stirred outside, the three of us stirred the chocolate mix in a big, glass bowl. I would always find a way to make the food into some masterpiece of art. The chocolate piles were mountains, dusted with sugary snow. The water poured in was a stream running around the mountain, as huge yellow boulders, the egg yolks, rose up out of the water. Smashing the chocolate mountains, squishing the eggs, and pouring in all the ingredients, everyone was anticipating a sweet treat that night.
As mom began to mix my mountain masterpiece into a smooth russet dessert, I wanted a turn! Mom handed me the fork. However, instead of putting it in my hand, she just dropped it. Or so I thought. I looked up. Mom had disappeared! Suddenly, I heard a groaning sound coming from the opposite side of the kitchen. Holding her hands to her head, Mom was sitting up against the refrigerator. She looked as if she had just gotten out of bed, eyes blinking and hair in disarray. Lightning had traveled through the phone line and hit the medal fork she was passing to me, throwing her completely across the room! If she had passed the metal utensil to me just one second earlier, I would have been flung across the room.
The rest of that evening, I would not leave Mom’s side. In fact, I didn’t want to get out of her lap. At one point, I had to get up so that she could unplug a tv and a lamp chord. Her hand shook and trembled, barely able to stop long enough to jerk the chord out of the socket. Staying up several hours past my normal bedtime would usually be fun for a three year old, but not tonight. I stayed curled up in Mom’s lap, finally drifting to sleep.
Awaking the next morning safe and snuggled in my soft bed, the storm was over. My family walked outside to examine the damage. We gathered a few branches that had fallen from the tree in the backyard and put them in a pile. Then, we untangled the swing from around the tree. We probably had a lot of shingles slide off the roof too, but I do not remember. As a three year old, knowing Mom was ok and my backyard play area was back to normal meant I would be ok. However, at twenty-two years old now, I still have not forgotten my first storm.


So, what is YOUR first memory in life? And what is your first memory of ME?

**Leslie**

Monday, June 15, 2009

Oswald

Some things that have been on my mind from reading My Utmost For His Highest since graduation time.

"Patience is not the same as indifference; patience conveys the idea of someone who is tremendously strong and able to withstand all assaults.”
Oh Lord, help me with this.

“It is a bad thing to be satisfied spiritually.”

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
His Word says He is going to do more than I can imagine, so that tells me that I should NEVER be satisfied, always wanting to know more.

“A spiritually-minded person will never come to you with the demand- Believe this and that; a spiritually-minded person will demand that you align your life with the standards of Jesus.”

Where do you get your standards? Or, more importantly, where do I get mine?

“It takes God a long time to get us to stop thinking that unless everyone sees things exactly as we do, they must be wrong.”

I don't completely agree with him on this one, it's not God that's slow, it's us.

“Never sympathize with someone who finds it difficult to come to God; God is not to blame.”

I heard a pastor recently say someone told him this when he was young and had just accepted Christ, "You are as close to God as you want to be." God has given us everything we need to know him, it's up to us to decide how much we get to know him.

“Disaster occurs in your life when you lack the mental composure that comes from establishing yourself on the eternal truth that God is holy love.”

It reminds me of lyrics I wrote- She's so easily shaken, but don't be mistaken, she will not break.

"A person’s own idea of God and His attributes may actually be used to justify and rationalize his deliberate neglect of his duty.....Jonah tried to excuse his disobedience by saying to God, “… I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm” (Jonah 4:2)."
Quit making excuses. Do what you know is right.

"But wherever there is vision, there is also a life of honesty and integrity, because the vision gives me the moral incentive."
Honesty and integrity...hard to find these days.

"Our own idealistic principles may actually lull us into ruin. Examine yourself spiritually to see if you have vision, or only principles. "

"Once we lose sight of God, we begin to be reckless. We cast off certain restraints from activities we know are wrong. We set prayer aside as well and cease having God’s vision in the little things of life. We simply begin to act on our own initiative."
Being responsible is hard, but not impossible.

"Add means that we have to do something. We are in danger of forgetting that we cannot do what God does, and that God will not do what we can do. We cannot save nor sanctify ourselves— God does that. But God will not give us good habits or character, and He will not force us to walk correctly before Him. We have to do all that ourselves. We must "work out" our "own salvation" which God has worked in us"

"He commands me to show the same love to others by saying, ". . . love one another as I have loved you" (John 15:12). He is saying, "I will bring a number of people around you whom you cannot respect, but you must exhibit My love to them, just as I have exhibited it to you." This kind of love is not a patronizing love for the unlovable— it is His love, and it will not be evidenced in us overnight. Some of us may have tried to force it, but we were soon tired and frustrated."
I try. Sometimes I fail, but I keep trying. Thank goodness The Lord's love never fails on me!

"No sin is worse than the sin of self-pity, because it removes God from the throne of our lives, replacing Him with our own self-interests."
I'm so self-centered. Lord, forgive me.

**Leslie**