I spent the past week at my
parent’s house. It was my mom’s birthday
week. During this week, she served
me. She took care of her
grandchildren. Because SHE WANTED TO.
This has been a crazy year of change for
our family. Even though it was hard and
we miss a lot of sweet people, my Hubs and I moved our family away from the big
city to a quieter life. We are finding a
new, sweet community. We had our
adorable second little girl. We
renovated a house. It’s been good, but
EXHAUSTING.
When so many
people insisted “NOW is the time to do ALL the renovations on your house”, my
mom is the one who drove 4 hours to help with the toddler while I was exhausted
and dealing with morning sickness AND a foot injury that left me on crutches for
a month.
When the
renovations took much longer than they were supposed to, my mom is the one who offered to take our toddler home with her
for several days (on several different occasions) so that my body, exhausted
from a hard pregnancy, could get some rest.
When the
house was not put together after we moved in because I was too far along in my
pregnancy to do heavy lifting and unpacking, my mom was the one coming back
into town and putting things away in the morning before the toddler woke
up. Then, playing with the toddler the
rest of the day after she woke up. This
allowed Hubs and I to get extra rest before baby #2 arrived.
She can see
the WHOLE picture and the WHOLE family.
She saw that I was not being respected by others in our new community as
a stay at home wife and mother. She knew
childcare was hardly ever offered. To
any older women reading this, I would encourage you to let your children know
you enjoy them AND their children….It seemed as if everyone who encouraged Hubs
to get it all done at the house, expected me to have “plenty of time” to pick
up the mess all on my own that was left when it wasn’t finished before our
second child arrived.
Just FYI,
even on a stay-at-home mom’s laziest days, we’re still teachers, cooks, maids,
and jungle gyms. I did all of this for
months while nauseous and exhausted while my husband was gone almost every
evening and hours on the weekends working on the house. He worked very hard and I’m proud of what he
accomplished, but not many others recognized how hard this time was for
me. I tried to explain that it was so
hard for me to handle with a toddler and difficult pregnancy, but I was usually
cut off by someone saying “Well, NOW is the time to get it all done.” Also, “Well, you should look for a Mother’s
Day Out program.” The whole reason we
moved to a smaller community was to have more time with our husband/Daddy who
had a 3 hour commute every day back in the big city. We barely saw him then and now I had people
encouraging him to continue doing large projects, leaving us alone day in and
day out again. If you’re going to do
that, at least offer the rest of the family help!
When this
was going on, my mom is the one who understood and prayed for me. I was feeling gross, lacking energy, feeling guilty about putting my toddler in front of the TV when I could barely get off the couch, and missing my husband.
She
understood because she was also a stay-at-home mom. I’m so grateful. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through
this last year without her. I will
forever be grateful for the extra time I got with her while I was growing up. The
education, support, and encouragement I received from her choosing to stay home
with her children will forever be some of my greatest treasures. I know this is my calling too. It is hard, but I’ve seen the rewards through
my mother’s hard work and I look forward to the challenge. I just never knew I would feel so alone in my
role when I moved away from my mom.
After my
trip, I came home this weekend to several rooms in our house finally put
together because my sweet Hubs got help from his parents while the little ones
and I were away. It was a nice surprise
to feel as if my needs were finally seen.
-Leslie
P.S. This was an appreciation post for my mom and everything I feel like I gained from her being a stay at home mom….and how much I appreciate her understanding as I have felt like many around me don’t respect my role. There are a lot more people than I realized who do not respect the work and everyday life of a stay at home mom and wife. However this was, in no way, a dis on moms who choose to work and care for a family at the same time. I have so much respect for these women too. This post just isn’t about them.
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