Delight in one another

I talk about motherhood a lot on this blog because that's the stage of life I'm in right now, but I care very deeply about other things, especially relationships with friends, no matter what stage of life we’re all in.  And this is an interesting thing I've been noticing lately-

You know those friends that are pretty good at deserting you when you're going through hard times? (or at least don't know how to deal with it /be a good friend) Anybody have the opposite happen? Like do you have a friend that doesn't seem to be around or know how to celebrate with you in your joys and good times?

I don't know if it's the fact that I'm almost 30 and I am learning how to be a friend during motherhood, but I just don't feel like dealing with this kind of pettiness at this point.  Now, as an adult and a mom, I know how hard it can be to keep up with people.  Life is crazy.  Life is busy.  For EVERYONE.  I can go months without having a long conversation with a friend to catch up (although if years go by of me being the only one to initiate a conversation, I will eventually stop trying) and when we do catch up, we pick right back up where we left off.  But if you only really speak up or pay attention to my life when I am going through something rough, but the rest of the time ignore my good moments, joys, and celebrations...that makes me figure that you only want to see me go through hard times, whether that's your intention or not.  All it does to me is make you look either very petty or jealous.

Anybody else have this happen to you?  How do you (personally) deal with someone like that?

I started noticing a pattern where certain people very rarely tried to keep up with me or encouraged me until something went wrong in my life (examples- went months without hearing from them unless I initiated until my sister's accident last year or my health problems in the fall.  Then, they responded and showed sympathy, but as soon as those situations ended, I haven’t heard from them since)  At our age and stage in life, part time friends is sometimes all we can be.  Someone recently asked  "Why be my Facebook friend if we never talk?"  And I responded, "Because people's lives go in different directions and for us right now it means putting our 2 year old before friendships sometimes, but we still like to keep up with our friends as long as they can be understanding of that fact..."

I don't have a problem with "part time" friends as that's kinda what I'm having to be right now, but when it becomes very clear that you are ignoring me until it suits you for me to be in your life, that's when I just wanna be like "Bye Felicia!" because I am too old for girl drama and pettiness.  PLUS, my daughter watches how I carry out friendships with my girl-friends and I think it’s important for her to see women lifting each other up in the good AND bad, laughing AND crying, celebrating AND grieving.  And if a woman can’t do both with you, learning to walk away from them.

It makes me think of this quote from Matt Chandler-

"He forms this body of believers and so that in that we care for the good of one another. And we do that in multiple ways. One, we delight in one another. Like, your strengths are a delight to me! I’m praying that my strengths are a delight to you. We are not threatened by each other’s strengths. We delight in it. You are not me. I am not you. We are different.

We don’t look at other people’s gifts with jealousy. We exalt that God has gifted them like that. And we are grateful that we become better, we become stronger, we know The Lord more deeply because of the gifts given to them.

We delight in one another by spending time together. From my family to my friends, there are few things that bring me joy like good company."

Friends, I delight in you.  I hope you can delight in me too.  If not, something is not right in one of our hearts.

Love,

Leslie 

Our journey. Not yours.

I know this is a really lame post for the first one of 2017, but I need to say it…

We have been asked.  My mother has been asked.  Even MY SISTER has been asked.

So, let me set the record straight.  It is NONE of your business when my husband and I are “planning” or “trying” for another baby.

As of right now, we do not have a baby due in 2017.  If that changes, you can find out WHEN I WANT to give out that info.

Not really sure why or how it became socially acceptable to ask that question.  Yeah, “everyone just gets curious” yadda yadda yadda….you’re basically asking how often my husband and I get down to business (oh I’m sorry, did reading that make you uncomfortable?  Well, how do you think I feel ANSWERING that question?)

This has been the most stressful year of our lives.  The Hubs is in the car 3 hours a day just driving to and from work.  Sometimes, he doesn’t even get to see the one child he does have every day.  We miss him quite a lot.  And that’s not all.  I have had some health issues throughout the years, including 2016...and it's a good idea to make sure your body is strong and healthy before you carry around a baby inside of you for 9 months, right?  Yeah...

I have some friends with kids less than a year apart.  I have a friend with college and high school age kids…then had another baby last year.  Everyone’s family journey is different and unique….and it’s our journey, not yours.

"Mind your own biscuits, and life will be gravy" -KACEY MUSGRAVES-

Thanks,

Leslie

Another Thanksgiving

This year has been tough.  Almost from the very beginning as my sister broke her back in a horse riding accident in January (to those who still ask how her recovery is going, you are so sweet.  She is actually doing great.  Her back gets a little tight sometimes, but she has already been back on a horse, taking it much easier now)  My husband’s job commute is 2.5-3 hours daily which extended to about 4 during the crazy floods in the spring.  We got some really hard news this fall….and don’t know when good news will come from that specific situation. Oh and let’s not even get started on the crazy political atmosphere we have in this country right now…

And I know I’m not alone.  I’ve had many friends share their stories of discouragement and heartache in 2016.  I wrote a Thanksgiving in May post because I wanted to focus on the good, instead of the bad that was happening.  Well, 2016 has continued to disappoint, but I still want to find the good to praise the Lord for.

Since I wrote that post in May, I’ll start with something good in each month since then.

June-  My birthday month. And my Momma’s.  And Mom-in-law's.  We had good family time and I actually celebrated my birthday with my in-laws over Father’s Day weekend.  How many people can say they are HAPPY to celebrate their birthday with in-laws?  Not many, but mine are the best.  They made me a cake and bought be some of my favorite things.  Then, watched baby girl so the Hubs and I could go out.

July-  I saw one of my cousin’s marry his high school sweetheart in one of the sweetest, God honoring ceremonies I’ve been to.  Also, Cow Appreciation Day!  I had been waiting several years to go with one of my favorites who has an amazing cow onesie that she wears to celebrate the joyous occasion every July.  It was such a fun day being silly with her and baby girl!

August-  The Hub’s birthday.  We had such a fun celebration with family and friends.  Also, baby girl turned 18 months…and ever since that big milestone, she has just been getting an even bigger, funnier, sassier, sillier personality and it’s just adorable.

September-  This was the hardest month.  But we had an awesome friendcation with my best friend, our husbands, and our babies.  It was full of relaxing days, refreshing conversations, and fun times in a nice little house out in Wimberley, Texas.  Also, had some good sisterhood time one afternoon with a few friends from college!

October-  Family reunions, baby showers, pumpkin patches, Taco Salad Parties, and friends’ gender reveal parties.  October, while it didn’t feel very much like fall outside, had many good celebrations to help with the sadness of September.

November-  Full of family time.  My parents hosted an awesome Thanksgiving Day feast…and helped a lot with baby girl. Then, went to the in-laws for the weekend for some more family time, food, rest, and help with baby girl. 

My momma came today, brought Chickfila, and helped with baby girl until she went down for a nap.  Then, my dad is coming when he gets off work and will bring us some dinner.  They both usually do this once a week for us.  So sweet.

Hoping December will end with 2017 not looking as dreary as 2016 has been.  However, you can see that I really do have a lot of blessings to think about, praise Jesus for, and not forget.  Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!  Can you think of something to be thankful for each month?

Love,

Leslie

Like a Lightning Storm (Part 2)

Part 2

Click here for Part 1 if you want to read it.

The meds really drain my energy.  When I first got on them, I would nap for at least 3 hours after classes, even if I had a good night’s sleep.  I have been able to adjust to them more since then, but my full energy never returned.  Another side effect.

If you have a friend going through a storm….

Please don’t act like it’s a big deal when you help a friend going through a storm-

No driving for 6 months (normal restriction after a seizure) during my student teaching.  Relying on friends during hard times is tough.  I had friends give me a ride from campus to my apartment just a couple times and act like they hung the moon for me.  Don’t get me wrong, it was helpful, but I had people I barely knew offer to do that much for me. 

Please, don’t get upset when your friend can’t be there for you during their storm-

I had several close friends try to deem what was best for me or our friendship and get upset that I couldn't be there the way they wanted me to at the time, instead of just making the time to be there and ask what my needs were.  It's not like any of us want to be in a time of extra need or vulnerability, but it usually happens to everyone at some point.  I’m really sorry that I forgot to ask how your day was, when I was struggling to stay awake while at the same time making sure I got enough sleep and didn’t drink too much caffeine, find a ride home, cope with an abusive boyfriend who eventually left me during the storm, remember to take my meds, remember what I was going to be teaching the next day, AND keep up with my friends too.  I wasn’t meaning to forget about you EVER, but at that time, I was in hell.  Where were you?

Please don’t act like doing a simple thing for a friend in a storm is a hardship for you-

I mentioned in the last post that a family member had a pretty traumatic experience too.  My sister broke her back when she got bucked off a horse at the beginning of this year.  She was bed-ridden for weeks.  The only thing she could do was watch tv or look at her phone.  When I saw how depressed she was about the injury and possibility of not riding again (plus the fact that she had crappy friends who barely visited her), I set up a surprise event online, asking friends to mail her some snail mail to give her something else to do. Two weeks later, my sister had received ONE thing in the mail! It was sent by MY sweet brother-in-law and sister-in-law. My brother-in-law has spent maybe a few hours with my little sister, and my sister-in-law has never even met her....and some of those invited to send encouragement have known her for YEARS! How discouraging! It's "friends" like this that have made my sister want very little to do with church people. STEP UP. BE JESUS.  Unless you had an excuse worse than breaking your back, it takes only a few minutes to pick out a card, write a few sentences, address and stamp it, and put it in a mailbox. I actually had a friend text me and tell me so many people only do online stuff now that that’s why no one was taking the time to send something in the mail and that I should set up a Facebook group to post comments for my sister.  Really?  Did you NOT just read that Facebook and tv is ALL she could do all day?  I was trying to give my extremely discouraged sister something a little more than a Facebook comment that takes all of 5 seconds to type.  My sister doesn't have the type of godly, caring friends that I do (or thought I did)....this was supposed to help, but instead it showed me just how many people I can count on in times of need. (Note- a few more people stepped up after I wrote this summary on Facebook right after her accident, so she ended up getting a few more things delivered.  To those, I am extremely thankful.) 

EVERYONE has a busy life. That is the CRAPPIEST excuse, and my sister and I both heard it.  You don't think everyone has busy times in their life? Yes we all do, but don't neglect your most loyal friends in their biggest times of need. BE THERE for the ones you care about, ESPECIALLY during the hardest times of their life! 

If you speak of loving people well, but can’t find time for something as simple as a sympathy card in the mail, your love is immature.  If you speak of loving people well, but you pat yourself on the back for giving someone a ride home once or twice, your love is conceited.  If you get angry at a friend not showing you attention during THEIR storm, your love is selfish.  Love is not just being there when it’s convenient, sometimes it’s about being there when it isn’t convenient at all.

It’s as simple as this.  If you think any of what I posted applies to you, whether it was in my situation, my sister’s, or a completely different situation, this is just meant to encourage people to brave the storm with your friend, instead of complaining about the rain through it.  Like I said above, no one wants to be in a lightning storm, but it happens to everyone at some point.  If you haven’t been through one, your time will come eventually…and I sure hope you have friends to walk through the floods….because if you don’t, the pain cuts even deeper than the storm by itself.  And if you are walking through one right now, please let me or someone else you trust know what is going on.  I want to walk with you.  No one should feel as alone as I did.

Love,

Leslie

P.S.  I do want to let a few people know I was extremely grateful for your encouragement and care for me during these horrible times- My family, education professors, Penn1 guy friends, Amber Webb, Allie Thompson, Angela Long, Bekah Brown, Emily Huebner, and anyone I barely knew who gave me a ride in those 6 months, and anyone who sent my sister something in the mail.  Your kindness did not go unnoticed, I promise!

Like a Lightning Storm (part 1)

I LOVE the summer Olympics.  I always look forward to the gymnastics competitions.  It is amazing to see what these athletes are capable of, how they can twist, turn, stretch, and push their bodies to do extraordinary actions.

At the same time, it is a reminder at how fragile bodies can be.  It is the anniversary of one of the most terrifying times of my life.

I wrote this on my blog right after it happened…

That night started out as an ordinary evening spent with my family. We were talking and watching the Olympics. Then, I lay on the couch. For the next few minutes, I don’t remember anything. Mom said it looked like I was stretching, then got stuck that way. I started trembling. I was having a seizure. It lasted a minute or so, then I went unconscious. My face turned blue.  My parents called an ambulance. I didn’t wake up until the paramedic gave me oxygen. Then, he took blood, asking me basic questions, like where I go to school. My family tells me I was so disoriented I acted like a child, pushing the oxygen mask away, and complaining about them taking blood from my finger, and giggling about my answers to the questions. I don’t remember a thing. I remember them asking me a question about something right before getting into the car to go to the hospital. We were at the hospital for at least 3 hours. They did a brain scan, checked blood pressure, and did several other tests. All came back fine. We got back home past midnight and I slept almost all day afterwards, still having a headache.  Seizures are sometimes caused by stress, eating at unusual times, and/or caffeine.  I felt a little dizzy, not much, but then I was just out. I’ve never had anything like this happen to me since my stroke at birth.

It happened 8 years ago. 

I still have side effects, like migraines that come on so hard, I lose my vision for 30 seconds or more.  Thank goodness I’ve only been driving once when it happened, on a road with few cars and I could pull off real fast before I wrecked into something.  The meds really drain my energy.  Sometimes, my memory is not as good as it once was.

While in college exactly 2 months later, I had another one.  After that, I got put on epilepsy medicine (which I will probably be on the rest of my life because I was told after you have 2 seizures, there is a 50/50 chance that you could have another one in your life)  and was not allowed to drive for 6 months.

Someone once described a seizure like this- 

End part 1

Love,

Leslie

P.S. I know this was kinda dramatic, but a friend recently told me they had no idea that I had had a grand mal seizure (the most dramatic kind) which is funny because I was so open about it, yet felt so very alone at the time….and something pretty dramatic happened to a family member this year, and she had many react the same way people responded to me afterwards.  So, part 2 will be a "How to respond during a lightning storm in your friend's life".  Just hoping to help others in really crappy situations.

29

29.  The last year of my 20s started last month.  They FLEW BY….and at the same time, I don’t even recognize myself from a few years back.  The 20s are pretty big, defining years for most people.  I’ve been thinking through them- the things I’m most thankful for through the years, most important things I learned, etc…

Early 20s-

-I am so thankful for the wise and caring professors during this time and the friends I had, especially in the education department at LU. 

-I would tell my early 20s self to get far, far away from some of those closest to me during this time.  And would also remind myself to keep in better touch with some back home as they would become better friends than those I was spending a lot of my time with.

-I am so thankful that, even though I had some of the scariest health times of my life during this time, that it wasn’t worse and I’m still able to manage it with daily epilepsy meds.  And I would tell myself to get used to health problems because they aren’t going away.

-I would MAKE SURE I left him as soon as I saw his response to the first seizure.  I would tell those who thought I wasn’t “present” or “there” for them, the kind of hell I was stuck in.  I would beg them to try harder to reach me, instead of telling me they “put way more into the friendship” than I did.  Communication is not a one way street.

Post grad-

-Just breathe.  It is all going to turn out ok….actually way better than you could’ve ever thought at this point. 

-I’m thankful for graduation and my church and job in Dallas. 

-I would tell myself it’s ok to live by yourself.  You do not need a roommate during this time in your life.  Learn about yourself as an adult instead of letting girl drama move in.

-I learned not to stay in situations that are discouraging over and over again without any change.  Get out. 

-Thankful for God’s grace in answering my prayer to bring me someone I could rely on and not have to learn to trust after so much untrustworthiness in my life-my good friend Riley took a chance and asked me to be his girlfriend.

Mid-20s-

- Thankful for marriage

- I apparently can’t make it more than 6 months away from Texas haha, and I’m ok with that.  Thankful for a Texan husband!

- Be careful who you vent to…some people CAN’T WAIT to make you look like a fool.

- I would tell myself not to let rude people turn me into a rude person.  It definitely happened a few times.  This world needs more kindness and gentleness passed on instead…

Late 20s-

- Thankful for children.

- Thankful for my parents and in-law’s wisdom and godly examples in our marriage and parenting.

- I am sorry to women who aren’t encouraged when they become moms…I have the MOST encouraging group of people I’ve ever had in my life right now, and am so thankful!
- Apparently there will always be women trying to start girl drama no matter what stage of life you're in.  Just leave them alone.

-Life is hard everywhere you turn.  Care for others, but beware of those who act like they are the only ones who ever go through anything.  They won’t be there much for you if you are the one going through something.

-  Life is about balance, even more after you become a parent.  How much time with/without your baby, how much time cleaning vs. sleeping, how much money on babysitting to get a date night, how often to ask family to babysit for free, how often to let your kid do this or that, when to let your kid do this or that, IF to let your kid do this or that, making time for friends when your baby refuses to nap etc. etc.

-  Learning to love who God created me to be and being ok with things that I used to think were flaws (my cerebral palsy, introverted/shy nature, sensitive soul. etc.)

-  I pray for contentment, courage, and confidence in this last year of my 20s and moving into my 30s

- Oh, and I pray for ENERGY to serve Him and my family well.

As I sat here at my laptop a few times to write this, the “things” that came to mind, as you may have noticed, are the people and relationships that defined my life in my 20s.  Life is always about people coming and going, staying and leaving, loving and living.  I learned to love well (including myself) and let go of those who don't love me back well.

Love,

Leslie

Thanksgiving in May...

While I was on a lunch date with a friend recently, we started discussing how 2016 is just a really crappy year so far for both of us, our families, politics (I mean REALLY?!  THOSE are the choices for our next President?!  I can’t imagine Hilary as commander of anything, much less Commander-in-chief), etc…just crappy all around.

You may or may not know that my husband works over an hour from our home right now.  He usually spends around 3 hours in the car each day just driving to and from work….the flood made it more like 4 hours for several weeks.  He barely gets to spend time with our baby girl during the week.  On top of that, he decided to buy an old BMW off Craigslist as a commuter car so that he doesn’t keep putting 120 miles on his truck every day.  After driving the BMW for THREE days, a guy rear ended him.  Then, the guy is dishonest and files a claim with our insurance saying my husband switched lanes at the last minute.  So, his insurance won’t cover the damages to husband’s car.

Ugh.

We haven’t been super social lately because we’re both either exhausted or trying to catch up on projects or trying to catch up as a family over the weekend.

Anyway, I just didn’t want to keep focusing on the negative.  I wanted to think (even as hard as it is lately) about the good in 2016-

I’m thankful my husband has a job.  We know many who do not right now.

I’m thankful he wasn’t injured in the wreck.

I’m thankful for my baby’s first birthday this year.

I’m thankful she’s too little to remember how busy her Daddy is right now trying to make sure she (and I) are provided for

I’m thankful baby girl has FINALLY started napping for about an hour and half most (not today or any other day she falls asleep in the car during outings lol) days.

I’m thankful for friends who are super understanding about me having ZERO time to socialize for months b/c of the reasons listed, but then when we finally get to hang out, we pick up right where we left off.

I’m thankful we only had a little water in the house from the flood.  Towels and fans took care of it.  And all of our family was safe and dry too!

I’m thankful for a Momma who will come watch my baby girl so I can have a best friend date to get nails done for the first time in MONTHS. Momma ALSO brought me Chickfila...THEN decided to have baby girl stay the night with her so that I could get some things done around the house and around town and have extra chill time with the Hubs.

I’m thankful my Dad comes in most Thursdays and brings me dinner so that Riley and I don’t have to pay for a babysitter while we are at small group each week.

I’m thankful for that sweet small group community and my community at MOPS.

I’m thankful our family beach vacation is coming VERY soon.

Life is a bit rough right now, but this season, this year, won’t last forever.

Love,

Leslie

Leslie's Limp

I’m about to open up in a way I don’t very often, friends.

As a preemie baby, I had a form of a stroke when I was born which caused me to have mild cerebral palsy on the right side of my body.  I walk with a limp and do not have much use of my right hand.  I can pretty much only open and close it in a fist.  I cannot move my fingers individually on that hand. Many of you know at least some of this, but probably not all.  

I’ve never been in any pain from the stroke or cerebral palsy.  It’s mostly just a huge annoyance.  People don’t always notice a “slight” disability right away.  Chickfila is the best place to work ever and my bosses were totally understanding, but every time a new person started working with me and asked me to do something like carry a tub of sweet tea or lemonade from the back of the store to the front and pour it from the tub to the high containers without spilling, I had to tell them I couldn’t do that.  Then, sometimes explain to them WHY I couldn’t in front of other employees.  And can’t pour the ice cream in the ice cream maker for the same reason.  Or tell them that I don’t work at the drive thru during busy hours because I type the order in too slowly….etc etc. you get the picture.  Sometimes, they just thought I was trying to get out of work.

When I was little, it didn’t really bother me much.  I didn’t even realize I was very different.  As a teenager, I became more self-conscious about it (especially around boys and co-workers), and the feeling of not being “enough” or lacking something crept in.  Now as an adult with a lot more responsibility, it is the hardest time to deal with it.

Some things you may have never thought of that are difficult for me-

I’m typing right now with one hand and had to do that with every paper I ever wrote in high school and college.

I like to cook, but something as simple as draining grease from a pan, chopping vegetables, or icing a cake sometimes requires (a) my husband’s help or (b) 4 times as much time as most people need.  And now that I have a very affectionate and physically needy child, if she is screaming and pulling on my leg to be held while I’m in the kitchen, sometimes I need 5 or 6 times as much time to complete a task.

Chores- oh where do I begin?  It’s hard enough for ANY parent to vacuum and hold a clingy child at the same time.  For me?  It’s almost impossible. (I did do baby wearing when she was much smaller, but even the Ergo is hard to get on by myself)

Even something as simple as lighting a match is extremely difficult for me.

I’ve learned to adapt to most things.  I would start papers early and take breaks.  I either start dinner way before the hubby gets home or find easy dinners.  We budgeted so that baby girl could go to a Mother’s Day Out one day a week, and I could clean the house that day without breaking my back.

Yes, there are so many people that have way worse struggles than me.  I know.  I know pretty much everyone deals with struggles not many people know about.  I'm tired of mine being one "not many people know about."  That's all.  I just needed to get this out because I have felt judged in numerous situations and people probably don’t realize what's going on.  I am learning to accept that-

I’m a SAHM who should have “plenty of time” to keep a clean house, but can’t.

I bring store-bought cookies to many events or my icing job sucks on the homemade ones I do bring.

I don’t like to participate in game nights, especially ones that involve charades or other certain physical activities, but will always have people pressure me to and try to embarrass me when I still don’t participate.

Whenever we do have company, the hubs is the one doing most of the food-prep and cooking because it would take me too long.

People will think I’m a "demanding" or "needy" spouse for asking my hubs to help with such simple tasks as going through a buffet line, ESPECIALLY if soup is involved (one thing that almost gives me full on anxiety attacks lol)  

P.S. My husband doesn't mind.  God gave me the BEST helpmate!

These are all things I have felt judged for.  I know this post was ALL about ME.  This isn’t to get sympathy or anything like that.  And some of you may even think that it's not that bad and I’m just not trying hard enough or making excuses so that I can just be lazy about things.  No.  I’ve pushed myself too hard for too long.  This is to inform.  This is for me, the perfectionist, to set myself free a little, to cut myself some slack, to be ok with myself, struggles and all. 

Is there something in your life you need to let go?  Is there something you need to cut yourself some slack on?  To be ok with yourself, struggles and all?

 This encouragement has been my life verse since high school.  “His righteous right hand” is so special every time I read it.  HIS strength, His help, His grace, His mercies are what my life is all about anyway.  He can use me AND my disability.

Love,

Leslie

Little Love

Our sweet baby girl turns one tomorrow.  I cannot believe her first birthday is already here! 

She is the greatest little blessing.  We planned for her and prayed for her, and God heard.  She was by no means a surprise.  However, her birthdate WAS.  She was due March 2^nd, but chose to come 6 days early, not much I know, but 6 days early put her birthday the day BEFORE the hubs and my anniversary. (at least it wasn’t 5 days early, right? Haha)  She still let us have “our day”.

I’m not gonna lie.  When she was first born, it reeeeally bothered me that her birthday was the day before our anniversary.  Understand, I was never bitter towards her.  No, not at all.  I just kept thinking, “Why couldn’t we have been able to get pregnant one month sooner?  Why couldn’t I have gone a little past my due date like a lot of my friends?”  But really, the dates being right next to each other on the calendar mostly bothered me because of what I thought other people were thinking.  I still get comments like, “Holy crap.  Her birthday is literally the day before your anniversary?!”  Or “You’ll never get to celebrate your anniversary again!”  And “You are going to have to start celebrating your half anniversary!”  No.  Just STOP.  Yes, we did spend our anniversary in the hospital last year.  Yes, we have a unique situation, but we do not have to give up our day. 

Actually, in some ways, it makes things a little easier.  My in-laws are coming into town to celebrate her birthday and will be staying at our house.  So, they are going to stay with her over-night on our anniversary so that we can go to dinner and stay in a hotel that night.  Free babysitter alllll night.  Yeah, it’s not so bad.  There’s just a lot of love this week of February as we celebrate OUR love and our first “little love” :-)

Some of my favorite things about our Little Love-

As soon as she was born, the nurse said “You look just like your daddy!” and that’s all I heard for months (not a bad thing as he and his brothers were some of the CUTEST little boys ever), but she has started looking a little more like me too lately

Even though she is WALKING all over the house, she still loves to stop and snuggle with Momma

She adores the pets, especially sharing her food (sometimes handfuls of her favorite) with them.  Esther the dog has found a best friend haha, and even the scaredy cat will let her pet him.

She loves to kiss me, her Daddy, Esther doggy, stuffed animals….

She loves welcoming her Daddy when he gets home from work 
Even though it makes it more difficult for me lol, she always wants to see what I'm cooking

She loves to play outside and isn’t afraid to get dirty

She is a social butterfly, not shy at all

She is really confident when she tries new things

She loves music, and will clap or dance almost anytime music is playing in the house, but especially when she hears Carrie Underwood...and will play the guitar with her Grandpa

She loves to be told about photos on the walls or in our phones

She is a good little traveler

She is such a sweet, happy baby

She smiles A LOT

She gave me a new name- Momma

She is MINE and the greatest gift I’ve ever received

Love,

Momma Leslie

Rest. Refresh. Balance. FLOURISH.

During a MOPS meeting at the beginning of last semester, the topic was “Embracing Rest”.  Our lovely speaker had us write on a random piece of paper a list of things that make us feel refreshed.

Here are some on my list-

Nap with baby girl when she naps…the dishes can wait.

Going for a walk on the walking trail in our subdivision.

Taking photos

Chickfila Dates

Organizing (when I have someone else watching baby girl…this is NOT restful/refreshing when she is in the same room haha)

Massages

And we are supposed to keep that and add to the list.  I’ve already added-

Blogging

Making time for my business adventures

Long showers/baths

2015 was a wonderfully crazy, busy year having a new baby, starting a business, getting little rest and sleep.  I know the years are going to bring much more of that too.  But I decided to take control of “Leslie Time” this month.  I love, LOVE being a SAHM (stay at home Mom)  I wouldn’t want it any other way!  However, my sweet girl has not napped well since she first starting teething about 4 months ago.  She still sleeps through the night 10-12 hours, but unless she is in the car or in my arms, naps rarely last even half an hour 1 or 2 times a day.  Plus, first year trying to build up her immune system and sticking everything in her mouth at the same time meant colds every couple of weeks since the beginning of fall.  Most days, I don’t mind the extra snuggles.  They are SO very sweet.  However, sometimes I just need “Leslie time”.  Part of that is being introverted, part of it is just needing balance.

Our house had begun to look like a tornado went through it on a daily basis because I couldn’t work on chores until she went to bed for the night.  And that time after she goes to bed is precious hubby quality time I don't want to give up either! Now, I’m not a neat-freak and I know my house will never be as it once was, with all the extra toys diapers, wipes, blankies, etc. but it was just getting ridiculous and down-right depressing me.  I didn’t want guests EVER.

I haven’t been able to make lunch dates or any kind of friend dates that weren’t scheduled (like small group, MOPS, etc.) or right after those scheduled events.  I am seriously missing some of my friend dates, and never wanted to push those friendships aside when I became a momma.

So, Hubs and I decided to work on our budget and put baby girl in a Mother’s Day Out program once a week.  She started last Wednesday at our church.  She is familiar with her caregivers AND I trust them.  Plus, I was able to get a massage and come back to start deep cleaning my house while she was gone.  Now, I am writing this blog and continuing to really clean/organize the house.  BALANCE.  I’m getting a few hours once a week for ME.  It’s not for selfish reasons.  It’s for balance.  Refreshment.  Rest.  I’m EMBRACING this short time without my girl to be restful and productive at the same time.

2016 words of the year for Leslie= BALANCE. REST. REFRESH.

Basically, to FLOURISH.

Friend, what is YOUR 2016 going to be about?

~Leslie~

His mercies are new every morning

Well, this year has definitely had some of the best days of my life…and some of the hardest.  I love being a wife and mom.  It’s all I’ve ever wanted.  I think The Lord for these precious gifts of my husband, baby girl, and getting to stay home with her because my hubby’s job allows me to do that.  The sleepless nights are tiny hardships compared to the joys these gifts bring me.

The month of May was not my favorite.  Actually, May sucked.  Two wonderful grandfathers passed away within 3 weeks of each other.  They lived long, happy lives.  Papa was 89 and Pawpaw was 90.  They were both very loving and caring men who are deeply missed.

When I started blogging again about a year and a half ago after a 5 year break, I tried to make a list of subjects to focus on, one being “To share life and thoughts”  and another “To voice what The Lord is teaching me more often than I have the last few years.”

Well, these last few months have been teaching me to continually hold on to Jesus. 

When I have 2 funerals in less than 3 weeks, it is hard to put The Lord up front in my life, but I want to hold on to Jesus. 

When baby girl all of a sudden decides to wake up every 3 hours like she’s a newborn, it is hard to think of getting in The Word during the day, but I want to hold on to Jesus.

When my house is a wreck and I just want to organize, but I’m sleepy, the baby is demanding my every moment, I have a headache, and I need to go grocery shopping before the stormy weather starts AGAIN, I NEED JESUS.

And honestly, I haven’t been good at holding on to Him lately.  I haven’t been good at focusing on Him.  I’m tired.  I want to nap or watch tv or do something else that requires very little brain activity when I finally have “Leslie Time”.  That may be what I want, and yes sometimes I really do NEED a nap, but sometimes I’m just wanting to be selfish or lazy with my time.

Sometimes, I will find more rest in His Words than a nap can give me.  I will be more satisfied in time with my Savior than with a clean house.  And the baby demanding my attention, should see me choose Jesus, even if it means I just walk around the house with her while I sing His praises as her lullabies.

I want to hold on to Jesus more than I have lately.  Thankful that his mercies are new every morning.  June is a new month.  I pray that it is a much better month than May.

 ~Leslie~

P.S.  If you have had a hard time getting in The Word and focusing on Jesus lately, click HERE for a link to a woman's blog that shares an easy 4 week Bible Study to get you focused again!  I'm doing it right now!

Mommy Confidence

I’m hoping my blog will not become ONLY about my kid, but for now, just expect it!  Sorry not sorry that she’s my favorite thing about life right now.

I've mentioned a few times in previous posts that I’m a pretty timid, shy person.  With that, I've also never been a very confident person.  (Probably one of the reasons Words of Affirmation is one of my main love languages)

The few things I have had confidence in over my lifetime-

That Jesus Christ loves and died for me…and I now live through him, my Savior.

The love of my family

The love and loyalty of my husband

AND that I was absolutely created to be a mom

Yeah, I had hope and faith that The Lord would help me be a good student.  Good teacher.  Good wife.

But MOM LIFE?

I’ve just always known that I could do it, and do it well.

This isn’t meant to be a brag post…it’s only through HIS grace.  And I’m posting this right after my child screamed for 3 hours straight and would only fall asleep after I put her in bed with me on TWO different nights in the last week.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  Heck, those nights were VERY difficult.  I’m just saying The Lord has granted me confidence in being a mom, and for that I am extremely grateful….because it’s what I’ve always wanted to be most in life....Mainly, because I have an awesome mom who has made life GREAT by putting us before herself.  She is one of the most selfless people in the world.

I LOVE being a mommy to my sweet girl. 

I love her snuggles, even if she chooses 2am as her favorite time to demand them! 

I love how much she smiles and “talks” to me.  It makes mornings a little easier!

I love how she tries to imitate the faces I make when I talk to her…she pretty much just sticks her tongue out constantly haha.

I love having an excuse to stay home more often (Have you heard how much of an introvert I am?)

I love it when she falls asleep in her daddy’s arms as he sweetly rocks her in the recliner while we are watching our favorite tv shows.  She still prefers me most of the time because I’m the one that can feed her lol.  So, the times when she does fall asleep with him are so precious.

I love picturing Daddy/Daughter dates that will happen in the future.

I just LOVE it.  Absolutely LOVE it.

Some of my friends have commented to me that they are scared their life will end when they become parents.  My life?  It was great before, but is even more awesome now.  If you are going to be a mom soon and aren’t so happy/excited about it, I hope this made you just a little more confident…and if you want more encouragement about becoming a great momma, just hang out with me for even a few minutes and I’ll help with that ;-)

My hubs knows how to love me well during baby girl's "cry-a-thon" nights this week-

~Leslie~

(and baby girl)

P.S.  (especially for those with the "mommy arrogance" I wrote about in my last post)  I know my journey as a mom has only just begun…these crying and sleepless nights are only the beginning.  I said I am confident, but never said I have everything figured out.  It’s one day at a time.  I was hoping my child would begin sleeping longer hours at night instead of start screaming her head off for hours some nights for no reason I can see, when she is almost 2 months old.  No, I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m confident that The Lord will give me understanding if I ask it of Him.

The last 8 months...

As I am about to start the last month of my pregnancy before we meet our baby girl, I have been reflecting on the last 8 months…

I will never plan a road trip in the mountains during the first trimester of a pregnancy again.

I will always have protein in my belly before I take those ridiculously huge prenatal vitamins every day…and keep peanut butter by my bed in case I need a little extra to get to sleep or to get out of bed without feeling nauseous (both have happened). 

Most preggos talk about the cute little baby hiccups they feel, instead I was the one with hiccups at least every other day during some of my 2^nd trimester.  Up until around 7 months, I only felt baby hiccups once.  Then, she started getting them in the middle of the night after I woke up to use the restroom lol

Also, most preggos talk about the crazy dreams they have.  The only weird dream I had was before we found out baby is a girl…I was going around to everyone insisting that we name him Tyson (not even one of the names on our list).  However, the Hubs had some crazy dreams for me…usually involving guns haha!

If I ever want to feel her kick, all I have to do is drink sweet tea from Chickfila.  She gets real excited/hyper…of course, my child would love Chickfila ;-)

Also, of course, our first child would be due on Texas Independence Day ;-)

I miss alcohol and sushi more than I thought I would.... And I don't even drink that much when I'm not pregnant, but a glass of wine or a cool drink when we were in Hawaii was definitely missed!

That moment Hubs heard her heartbeat and saw her moving on the ultrasound for the first time…you could just see in his eyes how REAL it finally was.  Also, the same date he started writing his speech for all the boys that will one day be interested in his little girl…

Last month, Hubs was reading us a Christmas devotional when baby girl started kicking like crazy. It was so cute....it was as if she was excited to recognize her daddy's voice and wanted to praise Jesus with us!  Already a DADDY'S GIRL!

It is fun to get her to react to a flashlight in a dark room (around 27 weeks babies can start telling whether it is light or dark outside of the womb) and have her kick my stomach so hard that she looks like an alien…Hubby’s reaction- wide-eyed “Whoooa!”

I never knew you could worry so much about someone you haven’t even met yet.

Cats get even weirder when your body is carrying another human being.  Dogs get more protective.

Sorry if this is awkward, but it’s still funny…First, know that I have never wanted one anyway, but after pregnancy I know I absolutely, positively NEVER want a boob job.  SO. HEAVY.  Ohmygosh.  Haha.

I cannot multitask when I’m pregnant, especially if one of those tasks is me talking to someone.  Probably the most embarrassing “pregnancy brain” moment I had was while talking to my mom on the phone, I was also looking at a high school buddy’s facebook page when I realized that I couldn’t see anything on his page, except his profile picture and a “happy birthday” comment from me months earlier.  I immediately sent him a “what the crap?!” message asking why he had deleted me!!  He had no idea what I was talking about, and had had some family drama so decided to hide most of his facebook announcements just so nosey people didn’t always know exactly what he was up to…this is the same friend who bought us a random Christmas gift a few months later I had registered for for baby girl….I have really sweet friends lol.

And last, I’m still completely blown away by the love and support from so many friends and family.  Whether you gave me maternity clothes so that I didn’t have to spend a fortune on a new wardrobe, sent random gifts, came to one of my showers, or just told me I was cute when I feel like a HIPPOPOTAMUS, thank you so very much.  I can’t wait for you all to meet my precious little one.

Love,

Leslie (and baby girl)