Delight in one another

I talk about motherhood a lot on this blog because that's the stage of life I'm in right now, but I care very deeply about other things, especially relationships with friends, no matter what stage of life we’re all in.  And this is an interesting thing I've been noticing lately-

You know those friends that are pretty good at deserting you when you're going through hard times? (or at least don't know how to deal with it /be a good friend) Anybody have the opposite happen? Like do you have a friend that doesn't seem to be around or know how to celebrate with you in your joys and good times?

I don't know if it's the fact that I'm almost 30 and I am learning how to be a friend during motherhood, but I just don't feel like dealing with this kind of pettiness at this point.  Now, as an adult and a mom, I know how hard it can be to keep up with people.  Life is crazy.  Life is busy.  For EVERYONE.  I can go months without having a long conversation with a friend to catch up (although if years go by of me being the only one to initiate a conversation, I will eventually stop trying) and when we do catch up, we pick right back up where we left off.  But if you only really speak up or pay attention to my life when I am going through something rough, but the rest of the time ignore my good moments, joys, and celebrations...that makes me figure that you only want to see me go through hard times, whether that's your intention or not.  All it does to me is make you look either very petty or jealous.

Anybody else have this happen to you?  How do you (personally) deal with someone like that?

I started noticing a pattern where certain people very rarely tried to keep up with me or encouraged me until something went wrong in my life (examples- went months without hearing from them unless I initiated until my sister's accident last year or my health problems in the fall.  Then, they responded and showed sympathy, but as soon as those situations ended, I haven’t heard from them since)  At our age and stage in life, part time friends is sometimes all we can be.  Someone recently asked  "Why be my Facebook friend if we never talk?"  And I responded, "Because people's lives go in different directions and for us right now it means putting our 2 year old before friendships sometimes, but we still like to keep up with our friends as long as they can be understanding of that fact..."

I don't have a problem with "part time" friends as that's kinda what I'm having to be right now, but when it becomes very clear that you are ignoring me until it suits you for me to be in your life, that's when I just wanna be like "Bye Felicia!" because I am too old for girl drama and pettiness.  PLUS, my daughter watches how I carry out friendships with my girl-friends and I think it’s important for her to see women lifting each other up in the good AND bad, laughing AND crying, celebrating AND grieving.  And if a woman can’t do both with you, learning to walk away from them.

It makes me think of this quote from Matt Chandler-

"He forms this body of believers and so that in that we care for the good of one another. And we do that in multiple ways. One, we delight in one another. Like, your strengths are a delight to me! I’m praying that my strengths are a delight to you. We are not threatened by each other’s strengths. We delight in it. You are not me. I am not you. We are different.

We don’t look at other people’s gifts with jealousy. We exalt that God has gifted them like that. And we are grateful that we become better, we become stronger, we know The Lord more deeply because of the gifts given to them.

We delight in one another by spending time together. From my family to my friends, there are few things that bring me joy like good company."

Friends, I delight in you.  I hope you can delight in me too.  If not, something is not right in one of our hearts.

Love,

Leslie 

Mommas, you don't have to do everything.

Whether you’re a working momma or stay at home momma of littles, this is one of the hardest seasons.  I know (most of the time it's fun too, but hard)  There are days (or months) where your child refuses to nap, throws tantrums, hangs on your leg the ENTIRE time you try to cook dinner, nights of very little sleep and days of potty training, and weeks with very little adult interaction if you are a SAHM like me or weeks of wishing you had more time with your baby if you are a working momma. (and don’t forget each of us is judged no matter what we do, and offered advice by women who ignored us before we were mothers or “on the same level” as some see it)

My family doesn't make it to Sunday church every week…or even every month.  In fact, this year was so hard as you have probably read in previous posts, that we barely went at all.  We needed REST.  We still stayed involved.  We participated in a small group every week.  I participated in MOPS and MOPS Bible Study every week.  We were and are still committed to loving and serving God, even if that means we are doing it from our couch more Sundays than not.  Some may disagree, but serving my family comes before serving a church.  I need to make sure my family is well taken care of, before I use the little energy I have pouring myself into different activities outside my home.

Hear me when I say, I’m not advocating for me to get to be lazy outside of serving my family.  I don’t have a ton of wisdom to offer, but just from my experience, I do have something to say-  It is absolutely ok to be in a season where you are served more than you are serving, you are resting more than committing, participating instead of hosting/leading.

I am in a small group with some of the closest friends I’ve ever had.  About once a month or so, the leaders try to come up with a service project.  Some projects are just buying certain items to donate to a certain shelter or program.  Those I can almost always participate in.  However, if it involves our family getting up and helping in a soup kitchen early on a Saturday morning, we won’t normally be able to participate.  We are not hiring a babysitter during this season so that both of us can spend time working outside of the home.  Sometimes, one of us can participate while the other stays with our little girl.  And that is OK.

One of my favorite ways to serve in this season that doesn’t require me to find a babysitter or a lot of extra time- Making meals for new moms. It’s not hard since I’m already making dinner for my own family to double a casserole recipe or to make twice as much taco meat and buy twice as many tortillas.  (or if it is a busy or difficult week, but a new mom is still in need, just buying a frozen meal to give or even calling a delivery place for the family) I love doing this now because I know what it's like to barely be able to keep your eyes open, much less get up and prepare an entire meal for the rest of the family. 

The Lord never said we needed to try to take care of EVERYTHING in every season.  He just said what you do, do well.  “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men”-Colossians 3:23-

He also gently cares for us, mommas-

"He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young." -Isaiah 40:11-

Right now, He is gently leading me to realize when and where to serve and to say “no” I can’t take care of everything right now.  I can worship and serve him well in my own home.

Love,

Leslie

Another Thanksgiving

This year has been tough.  Almost from the very beginning as my sister broke her back in a horse riding accident in January (to those who still ask how her recovery is going, you are so sweet.  She is actually doing great.  Her back gets a little tight sometimes, but she has already been back on a horse, taking it much easier now)  My husband’s job commute is 2.5-3 hours daily which extended to about 4 during the crazy floods in the spring.  We got some really hard news this fall….and don’t know when good news will come from that specific situation. Oh and let’s not even get started on the crazy political atmosphere we have in this country right now…

And I know I’m not alone.  I’ve had many friends share their stories of discouragement and heartache in 2016.  I wrote a Thanksgiving in May post because I wanted to focus on the good, instead of the bad that was happening.  Well, 2016 has continued to disappoint, but I still want to find the good to praise the Lord for.

Since I wrote that post in May, I’ll start with something good in each month since then.

June-  My birthday month. And my Momma’s.  And Mom-in-law's.  We had good family time and I actually celebrated my birthday with my in-laws over Father’s Day weekend.  How many people can say they are HAPPY to celebrate their birthday with in-laws?  Not many, but mine are the best.  They made me a cake and bought be some of my favorite things.  Then, watched baby girl so the Hubs and I could go out.

July-  I saw one of my cousin’s marry his high school sweetheart in one of the sweetest, God honoring ceremonies I’ve been to.  Also, Cow Appreciation Day!  I had been waiting several years to go with one of my favorites who has an amazing cow onesie that she wears to celebrate the joyous occasion every July.  It was such a fun day being silly with her and baby girl!

August-  The Hub’s birthday.  We had such a fun celebration with family and friends.  Also, baby girl turned 18 months…and ever since that big milestone, she has just been getting an even bigger, funnier, sassier, sillier personality and it’s just adorable.

September-  This was the hardest month.  But we had an awesome friendcation with my best friend, our husbands, and our babies.  It was full of relaxing days, refreshing conversations, and fun times in a nice little house out in Wimberley, Texas.  Also, had some good sisterhood time one afternoon with a few friends from college!

October-  Family reunions, baby showers, pumpkin patches, Taco Salad Parties, and friends’ gender reveal parties.  October, while it didn’t feel very much like fall outside, had many good celebrations to help with the sadness of September.

November-  Full of family time.  My parents hosted an awesome Thanksgiving Day feast…and helped a lot with baby girl. Then, went to the in-laws for the weekend for some more family time, food, rest, and help with baby girl. 

My momma came today, brought Chickfila, and helped with baby girl until she went down for a nap.  Then, my dad is coming when he gets off work and will bring us some dinner.  They both usually do this once a week for us.  So sweet.

Hoping December will end with 2017 not looking as dreary as 2016 has been.  However, you can see that I really do have a lot of blessings to think about, praise Jesus for, and not forget.  Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!  Can you think of something to be thankful for each month?

Love,

Leslie

29

29.  The last year of my 20s started last month.  They FLEW BY….and at the same time, I don’t even recognize myself from a few years back.  The 20s are pretty big, defining years for most people.  I’ve been thinking through them- the things I’m most thankful for through the years, most important things I learned, etc…

Early 20s-

-I am so thankful for the wise and caring professors during this time and the friends I had, especially in the education department at LU. 

-I would tell my early 20s self to get far, far away from some of those closest to me during this time.  And would also remind myself to keep in better touch with some back home as they would become better friends than those I was spending a lot of my time with.

-I am so thankful that, even though I had some of the scariest health times of my life during this time, that it wasn’t worse and I’m still able to manage it with daily epilepsy meds.  And I would tell myself to get used to health problems because they aren’t going away.

-I would MAKE SURE I left him as soon as I saw his response to the first seizure.  I would tell those who thought I wasn’t “present” or “there” for them, the kind of hell I was stuck in.  I would beg them to try harder to reach me, instead of telling me they “put way more into the friendship” than I did.  Communication is not a one way street.

Post grad-

-Just breathe.  It is all going to turn out ok….actually way better than you could’ve ever thought at this point. 

-I’m thankful for graduation and my church and job in Dallas. 

-I would tell myself it’s ok to live by yourself.  You do not need a roommate during this time in your life.  Learn about yourself as an adult instead of letting girl drama move in.

-I learned not to stay in situations that are discouraging over and over again without any change.  Get out. 

-Thankful for God’s grace in answering my prayer to bring me someone I could rely on and not have to learn to trust after so much untrustworthiness in my life-my good friend Riley took a chance and asked me to be his girlfriend.

Mid-20s-

- Thankful for marriage

- I apparently can’t make it more than 6 months away from Texas haha, and I’m ok with that.  Thankful for a Texan husband!

- Be careful who you vent to…some people CAN’T WAIT to make you look like a fool.

- I would tell myself not to let rude people turn me into a rude person.  It definitely happened a few times.  This world needs more kindness and gentleness passed on instead…

Late 20s-

- Thankful for children.

- Thankful for my parents and in-law’s wisdom and godly examples in our marriage and parenting.

- I am sorry to women who aren’t encouraged when they become moms…I have the MOST encouraging group of people I’ve ever had in my life right now, and am so thankful!
- Apparently there will always be women trying to start girl drama no matter what stage of life you're in.  Just leave them alone.

-Life is hard everywhere you turn.  Care for others, but beware of those who act like they are the only ones who ever go through anything.  They won’t be there much for you if you are the one going through something.

-  Life is about balance, even more after you become a parent.  How much time with/without your baby, how much time cleaning vs. sleeping, how much money on babysitting to get a date night, how often to ask family to babysit for free, how often to let your kid do this or that, when to let your kid do this or that, IF to let your kid do this or that, making time for friends when your baby refuses to nap etc. etc.

-  Learning to love who God created me to be and being ok with things that I used to think were flaws (my cerebral palsy, introverted/shy nature, sensitive soul. etc.)

-  I pray for contentment, courage, and confidence in this last year of my 20s and moving into my 30s

- Oh, and I pray for ENERGY to serve Him and my family well.

As I sat here at my laptop a few times to write this, the “things” that came to mind, as you may have noticed, are the people and relationships that defined my life in my 20s.  Life is always about people coming and going, staying and leaving, loving and living.  I learned to love well (including myself) and let go of those who don't love me back well.

Love,

Leslie

I will never be silent

I haven't been able to watch the Planned Parenthood videos. I just can't. I would want to weep for days, but I can't do that...not when the best thing that's ever happened to me is sitting in my lap, smiling and giggling, only 5 months old, but already understanding that I provide for her. I protect her. I wish I could do the same for the millions of babies that get torn to pieces every year. I desperately want to save them. A baby's heartbeat begins 18 days after conception. The heart is pumping blood through a closed circulatory system by 21 days.  Brainwaves can be identified at 6 weeks.  All the structures needed to feel pain are operating properly at 9 weeks. Abortion is murder. That is fact, no matter what you believe. Oh Lord, save us from evil, from the lies Satan is allowing so many people to believe. Save these babies. Please, Lord. Hear the cries!  I'm so heartbroken.  I can barely think about it for more than a few seconds without my stomach turning into knots, but

I will never be silent for these voiceless, defenseless, innocent HUMAN BEINGS.

BE THEIR VOICE.  DON'T EVER BE SILENT. FIGHT FOR LIFE.

Love,

Leslie

His mercies are new every morning

Well, this year has definitely had some of the best days of my life…and some of the hardest.  I love being a wife and mom.  It’s all I’ve ever wanted.  I think The Lord for these precious gifts of my husband, baby girl, and getting to stay home with her because my hubby’s job allows me to do that.  The sleepless nights are tiny hardships compared to the joys these gifts bring me.

The month of May was not my favorite.  Actually, May sucked.  Two wonderful grandfathers passed away within 3 weeks of each other.  They lived long, happy lives.  Papa was 89 and Pawpaw was 90.  They were both very loving and caring men who are deeply missed.

When I started blogging again about a year and a half ago after a 5 year break, I tried to make a list of subjects to focus on, one being “To share life and thoughts”  and another “To voice what The Lord is teaching me more often than I have the last few years.”

Well, these last few months have been teaching me to continually hold on to Jesus. 

When I have 2 funerals in less than 3 weeks, it is hard to put The Lord up front in my life, but I want to hold on to Jesus. 

When baby girl all of a sudden decides to wake up every 3 hours like she’s a newborn, it is hard to think of getting in The Word during the day, but I want to hold on to Jesus.

When my house is a wreck and I just want to organize, but I’m sleepy, the baby is demanding my every moment, I have a headache, and I need to go grocery shopping before the stormy weather starts AGAIN, I NEED JESUS.

And honestly, I haven’t been good at holding on to Him lately.  I haven’t been good at focusing on Him.  I’m tired.  I want to nap or watch tv or do something else that requires very little brain activity when I finally have “Leslie Time”.  That may be what I want, and yes sometimes I really do NEED a nap, but sometimes I’m just wanting to be selfish or lazy with my time.

Sometimes, I will find more rest in His Words than a nap can give me.  I will be more satisfied in time with my Savior than with a clean house.  And the baby demanding my attention, should see me choose Jesus, even if it means I just walk around the house with her while I sing His praises as her lullabies.

I want to hold on to Jesus more than I have lately.  Thankful that his mercies are new every morning.  June is a new month.  I pray that it is a much better month than May.

 ~Leslie~

P.S.  If you have had a hard time getting in The Word and focusing on Jesus lately, click HERE for a link to a woman's blog that shares an easy 4 week Bible Study to get you focused again!  I'm doing it right now!

Mommy Confidence

I’m hoping my blog will not become ONLY about my kid, but for now, just expect it!  Sorry not sorry that she’s my favorite thing about life right now.

I've mentioned a few times in previous posts that I’m a pretty timid, shy person.  With that, I've also never been a very confident person.  (Probably one of the reasons Words of Affirmation is one of my main love languages)

The few things I have had confidence in over my lifetime-

That Jesus Christ loves and died for me…and I now live through him, my Savior.

The love of my family

The love and loyalty of my husband

AND that I was absolutely created to be a mom

Yeah, I had hope and faith that The Lord would help me be a good student.  Good teacher.  Good wife.

But MOM LIFE?

I’ve just always known that I could do it, and do it well.

This isn’t meant to be a brag post…it’s only through HIS grace.  And I’m posting this right after my child screamed for 3 hours straight and would only fall asleep after I put her in bed with me on TWO different nights in the last week.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  Heck, those nights were VERY difficult.  I’m just saying The Lord has granted me confidence in being a mom, and for that I am extremely grateful….because it’s what I’ve always wanted to be most in life....Mainly, because I have an awesome mom who has made life GREAT by putting us before herself.  She is one of the most selfless people in the world.

I LOVE being a mommy to my sweet girl. 

I love her snuggles, even if she chooses 2am as her favorite time to demand them! 

I love how much she smiles and “talks” to me.  It makes mornings a little easier!

I love how she tries to imitate the faces I make when I talk to her…she pretty much just sticks her tongue out constantly haha.

I love having an excuse to stay home more often (Have you heard how much of an introvert I am?)

I love it when she falls asleep in her daddy’s arms as he sweetly rocks her in the recliner while we are watching our favorite tv shows.  She still prefers me most of the time because I’m the one that can feed her lol.  So, the times when she does fall asleep with him are so precious.

I love picturing Daddy/Daughter dates that will happen in the future.

I just LOVE it.  Absolutely LOVE it.

Some of my friends have commented to me that they are scared their life will end when they become parents.  My life?  It was great before, but is even more awesome now.  If you are going to be a mom soon and aren’t so happy/excited about it, I hope this made you just a little more confident…and if you want more encouragement about becoming a great momma, just hang out with me for even a few minutes and I’ll help with that ;-)

My hubs knows how to love me well during baby girl's "cry-a-thon" nights this week-

~Leslie~

(and baby girl)

P.S.  (especially for those with the "mommy arrogance" I wrote about in my last post)  I know my journey as a mom has only just begun…these crying and sleepless nights are only the beginning.  I said I am confident, but never said I have everything figured out.  It’s one day at a time.  I was hoping my child would begin sleeping longer hours at night instead of start screaming her head off for hours some nights for no reason I can see, when she is almost 2 months old.  No, I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m confident that The Lord will give me understanding if I ask it of Him.

2014

This was supposed to be written closer to Thanksgiving, but traveling and family and friend time got in the way.  I’m not sorry ;-)

Anyway, this has been a pretty big year and I felt like making a thankful list.  So, it works well as a last day of the year post too...

I’m thankful for this healthy baby girl growing inside me and all her cool movements I feel and her daddy experiences.

I’m thankful for her daddy, my amazing husband, who has been very patient with my preggo sick times, too sleepy to clean the house times, and I can barely move and need a massage times.  I have truly seen him live out “in sickness and in health” this year.

I’m thankful for several big trips this year before that slows down a little for several years.  Cancun for our 2^nd anniversary before we started planning for baby girl.  Hawaii for my brother-in-law and new sister-in-law’s wedding.  And Tennessee to see beautiful fall colors and winter coming in from the mountains.

I’m thankful for my new sister.

I’m thankful for the amazing extended family on both sides that will show an enormous amount of love to our baby girl.

I’m thankful my husband has only had to travel one week since the beginning of October.

I’m thankful for a flexible work schedule for myself to travel with the hubs, or stay at home when this baby makes me feel bad.

I’m thankful for all the sweet gifts already given to us for baby girl when I haven’t even had my showers yet.

I’m thankful for a good watchdog, yet a gentle puppy at the same time.

I’m thankful for the goofiest kitty who was really funny when my baby belly first started showing.

I’m thankful for best friend dates, especially our fall double date with our husbands that included pumpkin spice lattes, a pumpkin patch, and pumpkin carving.

I’m thankful that almost every big item on our baby registry has been bought for us.

I have a feeling 2015 will be an even bigger year.  Thank you, Jesus, for all these things!  Thank you friends and family for so much love, time, and support this year!  Happy New Year, everyone!

I leave you with these random thoughts for 2015...

Love,

Leslie

Fearfully and wonderfully...

“Comparison is a horrible idol.”

One of my favorite quotes from Matt Chandler.  Short and simple, right?  Well, not quite.

This used to be a huge struggle for me.

I have always been a fairly timid and shy person.  In high school, I compared myself to the more outgoing girls getting attention from the guys.

In college, I compared the attention I received, the projects I completed, and the grades I earned.

Other times, I have compared my health to others.  I have compared my job.  I have compared my spiritual life too.

I think many women struggle with this.  For some reason, we are constantly struggling to “be enough” by whoever’s standards!

But it’s not about WHOEVER’S standards.  It’s about this-

Psalm 139

14  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

16  Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE!  INTRICATELY WOVEN!

And this-

Zephaniah 3

17  The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

REJOICE OVER YOU!

Oh, and this-

Jeremiah 9

23  Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, 

24  but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.”

BOAST IN THE LORD!

These are fairly well-known verses.  These are not new concepts.  But sometimes I still need reminders.  The Lord made me to be ME…only me.  I am enough for Him.  And that is enough in itself.  My parents also made sure to let me know I was enough for them.  My husband lets me know I am enough too.  I was getting down on myself for something really silly the other day when my husband stops me and says, "You don't need to be so hard on yourself!!"  Thankful.

This is one of the main things I want my daughter to know too.  There will be absolutely no need for her to compare her beauty, intelligence, relationships, health, or anything else TO anyone else.  She will be enough.  She will be valued.  She will be loved beyond anything…by me, her daddy, and Jesus. 

I want her to know she’s beautiful…and that beauty comes from Jesus who made her fearfully and wonderfully…inside and out.  

Did you need this reminder today too?  You are ENOUGH, my friend.  And don't forget to boast in The One who made you enough!

Love,

Leslie (and baby GIRL)

Psalm 34:4

This is to update everyone on my last post.  If you missed it, you can read it here.

Some statistics about CF-

1 in about every 30 white Americans is a carrier.

1 in every 2,500 births of white Americans is a CF baby

If one parent is a carrier, there is a 50/50 chance they will have a child who is a carrier

When both parents are carriers there is still a 50/50 chance their child will be a carrier, a 25% chance their child will have CF, and a 25% chance their child will not have CF nor be a carrier of the disease

Life expectancy of a person with CF is around 37 years

Most people don’t know they are a carrier until they have a baby born with the disease

If you don’t know what cystic fibrosis is, I mentioned in the first post it sucks and I don’t really want to explain it, but there’s plenty of info online about it.

All this information is extremely scary and had me so anxious for the last few weeks.  I love this little being growing inside me unconditionally, and to think there was a possibility that I would outlive my child was so hard to think about.

We are praising The Lord big time right now!  At my 8 week appointment (I am now 16 weeks, woohoo!) I was tested for being a cystic fibrosis carrier.  Much to our surprise, I am one.  But as you see in the statistics, Riley had to be one too in order for our child to be born with the disease.  Riley FINALLY found out about his test results on Friday.  He is NOT a carrier!!  I was soooooo relieved.  Our babies could still be carriers, but apparently I’ve had carriers in my family passing it down for years and no one has ever been effected. 

We have such a great, loving, caring, patient, faithful God….even when we doubt and fail him.  That is what I have been doing the last few weeks.  I don’t think I’ve cared more about anything in my life than hearing a negative on Riley’s test results, and I chose to doubt God’s love and care, yet He came through in a huge way, like always.  I think the only time I’ve been close to this anxious is when I had my seizures and thought the doctors might tell me I had cancer or something.  The Lord is good.  I shouldn't doubt that ever.  Thankful and humbled.

Thank you for praying, my friends!

Leslie (and baby)